Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for June 01, 2021

You might get a big scoop of ice cream in the face. Depending what flavor it is might be all that bad.

Sage advice!

Dishwasher broke down AGAIN!

Portion control is not possible when eating out of the carton. That’s the point.

What does it mean when she’s “mainlining” coffee through an IV?

You can ask her if she could leave one scoop for you.

Don’t ask me any silly questions when I’m sipping bourbon through a straw from the bottle.

Hey, Aunty! What’s shaking? Aside from we-all—know-what? :op

And especially if she has an open bottle of wine.

Why ask the “how” when the “why” is so apparent?

“Don’t ask me no questions, and I won’t tell you no lies”

Reminds me of a joke I saw recently “I just made some room in the freezer sounds so much more productive than I just finished off another pint of ice cream.”

Offer to heat her up some hot fudge sauce and she’ll be yours for life.

That depends on the Size of the carton.

A standard Ben & Jerrys pint is probably OK.

A Gallon tub, you’re in Deep Trouble.