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I am grabbing a drink during happy hour while my friend is bar-tending. The place has just opened, so it is pretty slow. A woman walks up and looks at the specials board. One of the happy hour specials is some fancy-pants vodka/lemonade/watermelon cocktail, which the woman orders.
She watches my friend make the drink with the three of us chatting the entire time. My friend finishes and hands the drink over the bar to the customer.
Customer: “Wait… does that have alcohol in it? Oh, no, I didn’t want any alcohol.”
Friend: “Yes… you saw me making it and adding the vodka.”
Customer: “I thought you were making it for someone else.”
Friend: “You are literally the only customer in here.”
(A customer comes to the counter with three boxes of different medicines. I inspect them.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll only be able to sell two of these to you. This one should have the same effect and this one… I would recommend putting this one back.”
Customer: “Just sell me all of them.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
Customer: huffs “Just put them through separately. The register should let you do it.”
Me: “No. I’m not legally allowed to sell you all three. It could be life-threatening if you take all of them at once.”
Customer: “No, it isn’t. I have a friend who mixes them all the time and chugs a load of vodka. Knocks her out for several hours. Great stuff!”
stairsteppublishing about 7 hours ago
True, but none of them last.
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 7 hours ago
How apropos.
Rashes are red
Cyanosis is blue.
I get tachy
When thinking of you.
Yakety Sax about 2 hours ago
The Vodka Might Kill Her One Remaining Brain Cell
I am grabbing a drink during happy hour while my friend is bar-tending. The place has just opened, so it is pretty slow. A woman walks up and looks at the specials board. One of the happy hour specials is some fancy-pants vodka/lemonade/watermelon cocktail, which the woman orders.
She watches my friend make the drink with the three of us chatting the entire time. My friend finishes and hands the drink over the bar to the customer.
Customer: “Wait… does that have alcohol in it? Oh, no, I didn’t want any alcohol.”
Friend: “Yes… you saw me making it and adding the vodka.”
Customer: “I thought you were making it for someone else.”
Friend: “You are literally the only customer in here.”
Yakety Sax about 2 hours ago
A Spoonful Of Vodka Helps The Medicine Go Down
(A customer comes to the counter with three boxes of different medicines. I inspect them.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll only be able to sell two of these to you. This one should have the same effect and this one… I would recommend putting this one back.”
Customer: “Just sell me all of them.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
Customer: huffs “Just put them through separately. The register should let you do it.”
Me: “No. I’m not legally allowed to sell you all three. It could be life-threatening if you take all of them at once.”
Customer: “No, it isn’t. I have a friend who mixes them all the time and chugs a load of vodka. Knocks her out for several hours. Great stuff!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “I… I shouldn’t have told you that?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “You’re refusing my service?”
Me: “I’m afraid so.”
Customer: leaves looking utterly distraught
Yakety Sax about 2 hours ago
Everyone Should Speak Vodka
(We’ve been out of a product all day, and I inform my coworker over the headset that I have just finished making some more.)
Coworker: “You said we’ve got cold brew again?”
Me: “Si.”
Coworker: “I don’t speak Taco.”
Me: “Oui.”
Coworker: “I don’t speak Croissant.”
Me: “Da.”
Coworker: “I don’t speak Vodka.”
Me: “Get out.”