Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for August 31, 2020

Those will certainly put a spring in your step.

Let’s hear it for Vivian! Inventive, agile, determined…but maybe a little demented as well.

Others may use a stepladder. Not Vivian! She says they take up too much room and are so heavy to move around. With these shoes, she can easily launch up to Aunt Sadie’s vase in a second!

Well there was that one day when she launched herself clear through the skylight. But Victor adjusted the torsion and now she can get to the booze she hid with ease.

Is it Spring already?

They look like the Moon Shoes that my friend had back in the 50s.

Vivian’s shoes seem to have safety latches that keep the springs compressed until you unlatch them…

How does she manage to bend down and release the latches and still shoot forward?

Crazy… but there are still some nutso athletic-style shoes out there with exposed springs …

maybe not as springy as Vivian’s… but plenty springy, nonetheless.

Nike even makes some.

https://static.nike.com/a/images/t_PDP_864_v1/f_auto,b_rgb:f5f5f5/tjkr8ecmktw7qooy9d0h/shox-tl-mens-shoe-18V7MB.jpg

https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-ffuwslxg3u/images/stencil/532x532/products/704/966/180_45_Angle_Open_Freedom_Grey_Black__05396.1591130312.jpg?c=2

Some years ago, a friend paid over $200 for a pair like the bottom ones… an outrageous price at the time.

I think they were the same brand but the spring was wider then, and even more open.

She was gushing to me about how wonderful they were, and how I should get some…

when she took a step and somehow stuck the toe of one into the spring on the other, and fell over, knocking me down too.

Um… no.

Then about 10 years ago, maybe more, a special store opened in the mall to sell shoes with a huge “rocker” sole… an upside down, heel to toe semi-circle under your foot.

Neither your heel nor your toes touched the ground until you rolled forward into the next step.

Also about $200.

Another friend talked me into going with her to try them on… but when I saw them I was terrified.

She and the salesperson talked me into it…

When I tried to walk I fell flat on my face in the store.

Now Sketchers is advertising a rocker sole… a little less extreme looking… but still a big upside down bump under your foot.

Um… pass.

I suppose a step ladder isn’t as much fun.

I could have used those at the store the other day. I finally was lucky that some young gal came along and saw me trying to climb up the shelves.

Oh Lord.. how will she get down? Victor may have to call the fire department.. again.

So…. how is she getting down?

Lordy Lordy Lordy! Will ya look at that….er…pair of shoes?

What about her kitchen “safety net” for getting down?

As one short person to another, Viv, use a stepladder. It’s safer and protects your dignity as well as your ankles.

Check out WUMO today:

https://www.gocomics.com/wumo/2020/08/31

I dunno—I can think of a lot of other things that’ll put a spring in my step! Actually, Hubby should have been around to give her a leg up!