Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 27, 2025

… honestly that sounds interesting more …

Well, Mabel, in George’s defense, the Raccoons are far more entertaining.

Hmmm, racoons performing amusing antics, Vs. you windging on and on endlessly.

Who wouldn’t!

/// Those “raccoons” were a bit of a fable

which George made up to mollify Mabel.

‘Cross the street are Girl’s Dorms.

In their windows are forms

which he climbs up to view when he’s able.

Watching raccoons was his nighttime obsession

But his night vision’s gotten worse by progression

He must turn on the lights in order to see

And that causes those masked varmints to flee

Which sent Felix into a depression

.

His joy in life had been somewhat abated

But he still in the daytime has a pastime related

The squirrels on the bird feeder are entertaining

Providing the joie de vivre he has remaining

He enjoys making their raid efforts frustrated

.

The pole on which the feeder is set up high

He smeared it with grease so when squirrels try

To shinny up the slippery pole to feast

They slide back down with raiding ceased

He’s amused and thinks himself so sly

.

But in cold weather when that grease congeals

The persistent darned squirrels resume their steals

His further plans are overcome one by one

It seems the rowdy rodents are having fun

As Squirrel Research each bypass reveals

Mabel just doesn’t understand George’s sadistic pleasure in watching the raccoons around his trash. Tonight, George has liberally sprinkled cayenne pepper over the trash.

There was a young lady called Mabel,

Who liked to drink Carling Black Label.

George looked outside,

For somewhere to hide,

For she could drink him under the table.

He’s probably watching the neighbours, too.

Good morning Balladeers!

His family, he feels, are buffoons.

No more than unfunny toons.

He’d much rather stare, at that over there.

But who’s to say they’re raccoons?

It’s not the racoons, it’s your mother!

“Well, duh. The raccoons are much cuter.”