good morning all. skipping breakfast due to the nausea from a second day old migraine. Probably won’t post much today, unless something really catches my eye.
LONEWOLF Breakfast looks great. Now I know why I slept in this morning. I don’t know what Greek toast is, but I’ll take an order along with a nuc coffee.
One question: How does the food get from your virtual kitchen to my screen? Is it like a Star trek transporter? How do I get breakfast from my screen to my mouth? Should I switch to Windows 7? Just one question.
Morning TRIBE! I finally got to my new gym to lose the COUPLE of pounds I gained this winter. Stopped at the supermarket next door and beelined through fruits and vegetables to the bakery section.
Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, “Joe, how much is three times three?” Joe responds “59.” He goes over to Tom and asks, “Tom, how much is three times three?” Tom responds, “Wednesday.” He finally goes over to John and asks, “John, how much is three times three?” “NINE” replies John. “That’s right …now how did you come to that answer?” “It was easy…I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!”
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.” The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”
Wow, four good morning Cleos in a row. Good Morning Doc, LuvH8, Terry & Grog. It is another fine day in the PNW. Hope you all are experiencing the same.
A couple of pertinent Addams Family movie quotes on lawyers:
Grandma: Unless Fester comes back, we’re talking dimples.
Gomez: Not in this house!
Grandma: He [baby Pubert] could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become… a lawyer.
Gomez: I won’t listen!
Grandma: An orthodontist!
Morticia: Mama! Stop!
Grandma: President!
Gomez: [to his family]: They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!
Ms. Jones saw one of her students making faces at the other kids on the playground. She decided to put a stop to it. She pulled the child over to the side and said, “Aidan, when I was a child, I was told that if I made an ugly face, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Aidan looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Jones, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.
A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:
“Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn’t you. -$50.00.”
And just to be fair:
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: OH NO! That’s awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
Doctor: I have some bad news. You are going to die in ten.
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, and so on, when she interrupted him: “Hey look, I’m a vet - I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why can’t you?”
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, “There you are.
“Of course, if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put down.”
A mother woke her son up on Sunday morning and told him he needed to get ready to go to church. The son replied to his mother that he didn’t want to go to church this morning. She told him that was nonsense and he needed to get up and go to church.
“But, mom,” he replied, “everybody hates me, the sermons are boring and none of my friends ever come.”
His mother replied, “Now, son, that’s not true. First, everybody doesn’t hate you, only a couple of bullies and you just have to stand up to them. Second, the sermons mean a lot to many people. If you listened to them, you’d be surprised at how good they are in helping people. Third, you have lots of friends at church. They are always having you over to their house.
“And finally, you have to go, you’re the pastor!!”
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways,” said the nun.
“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something else that I could do, just for you.”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.
“Name it. Please!” said God.
“It’s those M&Ms,” said the blonde nun. “They’re so hard to peel…”
An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate: his Doctor, his Priest, and his Lawyer. He told them he was dying that he really wanted to take it with him, and asked each of them to put the $50,000 he would give them into his casket at his funeral.
After the man’s funeral, the three professionals went to the local cafe for a coffee together.
As they were chatting, the doctor looked sheepishly at the other two and admitted, “I have to tell you two that I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me twice that on his medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested.”
The Priest said, “I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in with him.”
Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing! “I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that.
“I wrote a check for the full $150,000 and threw it in, after I retrieved your two envelopes! ! !”
Besides, that was only half a blonde joke. It was also professional (nuns do profess vows; monastics are the original “professors”. Except for doctors’ Hippocratic Oath.)
Good afternoon Fellow Baby, bmonk, rac,. Hi Shika, bye Shika! Partly sunny and windy here.
To borrow from rac, hope you don’t mind, rac!
KNOCK KNOCK
‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’
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’
Hi, tribe!
I’m having trouble with my computer - a lot of “not responding” going on. I’ve rebooted and now doing a complete scan.
Plus, I’ll be heading to see my hubby tomorrow for a few days, so I don’t know how much I’ll be on.
Don’t let my absence keep you from having fun! (And I see it hasn’t, so far today.)
Hi Rmom Have fun
———-
I just went to the break room to nuke my lunch and I saw an awfully good looking cake there. No it’s not chocolate, LuvH8, but it does look too good to resist. I’m told it’s a Banana Split Cake. I may have to grab a slab after lunch.
Hi, EMET He or she who posts first posts the breakfast. Note that you should also consider the favorites of the Tribe faithfull should you be first any time soon.
EMET. I’ve got a couple leeks I have to take care of. Hopefully we’ll be getting some rain toward the end of the week so that I won’t have to worry about it too much. But this is not typically the wet season.
If I’m on breakfast detail, I’ll try to remember to put your picks for breakfast on the menu. My menu is starting to get as long as some of the jokes here, anyways, so what’s a couple extra lines.
Are you going to Ottawa on vacation - or is it work-related?
A
And I had nothing to say on In the Bleachers today
They’ll blow it yet. See the Montreal cartoonist’s opinion after the first few games.
http://s1044.photobucket.com/albums/b449/Grogs_Photos/JPG%20files/
The A-Team, consisting of myself, EMET, Nighthawks, yyyguy and a few others. You will usually see this on In the Bleachers, but you can sometimes see it on other strips.
Dept of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept of Religion:
Grade is determined by God.
Dept of Philosophy:
What is a grade?
Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.
I’m like that with football, ♠Lonewolf♠. To me hockey got less interesting the more they expanded the league and winter was lasting too far into June. I was well into baseball by then.
I’ll cheer for the Stars & Black Hawks in hockey (not that I see them much). I miiss seeing hockey on ESPN. They would often show the Bruins/Canadiens match-ups. You don’t see any Canadian teams on NBC.
Following the Bears, Raiders and Browns has been like giving them the kiss of death of late, but I still like to watch them in rivalry games as I do the Packers. I’ve always been a closet Saints fan.
Yeah but I’ve seen remarks like that by other posters as well. People make similar remarks on B.C. Dogsniff was one of them, but I think we converted him.
Hi Ladywolf Just fine thankyou. I’m here while enjoying The Invisible Man with Claude Rains. How are you doing?
♠Lonewolf♠, I couldn’t agree more. I’d say the rest of us should have more to complain about. However, If his posts are longer than a short sentence, I will just move on to the next poster, who’ll probably be complaining about JAD’s post.
I’m hoping that all of the orignal six in the playoffs win so that hopefully there will be an original six Stanley Cup. Not likely, but I’m hoping anyway.
Hibye Doc. Hello all. I just finished dinner and am awaiting LilG to watch a movie. Our weather has been very accomodating. It rains at night and is nice all day. It started pouring at about 5 and will probably rain some more when we go to bed, but it has been allowing us to do all this planting, which benefits greatly with a rainfall after it is in the ground.
As for sports, I seem to be a jinx. Any team I care about seems to suffer. Fortunately I do not have TV anymore, because invariably, if I watched they would lose. Even without TV they all seem to suck. In recent years I have begun to get into more individual sports as opposed to team sports. Still, I suffer through the Mariners, Seahawks and Huskie seasons.
Terry my dog used to walk into the furthest room of the house and close the door with her snout to avoid my displeasure at the Seahawks performance. LOL
Hello Shika. I am here for seconds, perhaps minutes. If I disappear, it has nothing to do with you. Nice to be in contact again with you. How is life treating you?
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Tribeandall
Breakfast menu:
Eggs, your choice Bacon Sausage, patties or links Honey Ham Grits Texas/Greek Toast English Muffins Asst Fruit Juices Asst flavored teas. Decaf, Regular, pirate or Doc’s Coffee Cinnamon Rolls w/Frosted Icing Johanan’s CocoMocha Bloody Marys Chocolate cake Milk
Enjoy all!
EDIT: Items added to menu.
WoodEye over 14 years ago
Thanks Lonewolf! I have to admit I was here early, but I didn’t feel like cooking.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Woodeye.
Not a problem, sir!
margueritem over 14 years ago
‘Morning, boyz! I’ll have a cinnamon roll for each hand, and some Irish breakfast tea, plese.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
Dusty you will have to share the profits with Wink.
Good Morning Tribe Have a wonderful day.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
One order coming your way, Marg! Enjoy, dear lady!
carmy over 14 years ago
Give him the heave-ho , Wink!
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Lonewolf ~ Where is my chocolate cake and milk? What is Texas Toast?
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning Everyone!
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Morning LuvH8
And ALL
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning Everyone
Hello, Rac0308 & LuvH8
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
LuvH8–My apologies. The breakfast menu has been expanded to include your request(s).
MisngNOLA over 14 years ago
good morning all. skipping breakfast due to the nausea from a second day old migraine. Probably won’t post much today, unless something really catches my eye.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, MisngNOLA
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Tribandall Good Morning, ♠Lonewolf♠ & MisngNOLA
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Grog
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Gooooood Morning, Grog!
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Rac0308.
lewisbower over 14 years ago
LONEWOLF Breakfast looks great. Now I know why I slept in this morning. I don’t know what Greek toast is, but I’ll take an order along with a nuc coffee.
One question: How does the food get from your virtual kitchen to my screen? Is it like a Star trek transporter? How do I get breakfast from my screen to my mouth? Should I switch to Windows 7? Just one question.
Morning TRIBE! I finally got to my new gym to lose the COUPLE of pounds I gained this winter. Stopped at the supermarket next door and beelined through fruits and vegetables to the bakery section.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Morning, Lonewolf
JOKE ALERT
Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, “Joe, how much is three times three?” Joe responds “59.” He goes over to Tom and asks, “Tom, how much is three times three?” Tom responds, “Wednesday.” He finally goes over to John and asks, “John, how much is three times three?” “NINE” replies John. “That’s right …now how did you come to that answer?” “It was easy…I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!”
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning, rac0308 & Lewreader
Lewreader, maybe you lost a couple pounds looking at the fruit & vegetables as you were going by.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Funny, rac0308. Not the answer I would have expected. Creative accounting?
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Lewreader.
Your order is up.
Texas or Greek toast is just thick cut bread toasted.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
PG Joke Alert
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, “Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.” The woman replies, “Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Heheh!
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Start counting and let me know how long it takes for a smile
It is said that the limbic system of the brain controls the four Fs: Feeding, Fighting, Fleeing, and Reproduction.
3 for me, but I’m only on my 4th coffee
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Where are you at Doc? Adam is calling you. LOL
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Yes he is, Lonewolf LMAO
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Doc.
That is one scary lookin’ …. “cat?” avatar
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Morning Doctor Toon. If this weren’t the digital era, you could probably put that cat on top of the TV and get as good a signal as rabbit ears.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning Lonewolf, rac0308, Grog & Doc T
Chocolate Cake Happy Dance!!Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Mmmmm chocolate cake…. I haven’t had chocolate cake in ages… Now I have a Jones for chocolate cake….
Thanks LuvH8
Running to the store now…..
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Doc & LuvH8.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning, LuvH8
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi Lonewolf - It looks like I am not the only one who wants chocolate cake. Better start serving, it is never a good idea to keep people waiting for:
Chocolate Cake!!!!!cleokaya over 14 years ago
Good Morning All.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning Cleo
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good Morning, cleo
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Cleo.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Yes, Doc T.
Chocolate Chip Cookie For You!!!Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Wow, four good morning Cleos in a row. Good Morning Doc, LuvH8, Terry & Grog. It is another fine day in the PNW. Hope you all are experiencing the same.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Funny rac0308! Do you go home and teach your grandson new jokes every night so he can torture his parents with them?
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
It is a beautiful day as well here in the Chi-Town area, Cleo. And with that I am off to get some things done today,
Have a great day everyone!
P&L
bmonk over 14 years ago
especially: DocT, cleo, LuvH8, Grog, ♠Lonewolf♠!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hello, bmonk
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Doc T (laughter)
Good Morning Bmonk!
It’s cloudy and has already rained today.
Lonewolf - bye
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
No LuvH8 - He’s 13, grampa’s not that phunnie right now.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
So it’s his fault!
Sunny with a high of 79 today. A cool front is blowing through.
bmonk over 14 years ago
A couple of pertinent Addams Family movie quotes on lawyers:
Grandma: Unless Fester comes back, we’re talking dimples. Gomez: Not in this house! Grandma: He [baby Pubert] could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become… a lawyer. Gomez: I won’t listen! Grandma: An orthodontist! Morticia: Mama! Stop! Grandma: President!
Gomez: [to his family]: They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and everybody else doesn’t think they’re jokes.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Good Morning bmonk. How is life in Dakota Territory?
Goodbye Terry.
bmonk over 14 years ago
It’s been damp–but not really wet enough. We need some real rain. And it looks like we’ll only get drizzles for the next week or so.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Future Lawyer:
Ms. Jones saw one of her students making faces at the other kids on the playground. She decided to put a stop to it. She pulled the child over to the side and said, “Aidan, when I was a child, I was told that if I made an ugly face, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Aidan looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Jones, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Good Morning, Cleo
You can tell Lonewolf is nowhere near the lake. I’m freezin my buttocks off…wind chill is 37
….heh….I said buttocks
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
(Maniacal Laughter)
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
It’s raining, it’s pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed And bumped his head And couldn’t get up in the morning
bmonk over 14 years ago
Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
LuvH8 - You’re having entirely too much phun.
bmonk over 14 years ago
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.
A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:
“Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn’t you. -$50.00.”
And just to be fair:
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: OH NO! That’s awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
Doctor: I have some bad news. You are going to die in ten.
Patient: Ten what? Years? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine. … Eight…
bmonk over 14 years ago
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, and so on, when she interrupted him: “Hey look, I’m a vet - I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why can’t you?”
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, “There you are.
“Of course, if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put down.”
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
bmonk - That last one sounds like a scene from “House”
bmonk over 14 years ago
A mother woke her son up on Sunday morning and told him he needed to get ready to go to church. The son replied to his mother that he didn’t want to go to church this morning. She told him that was nonsense and he needed to get up and go to church.
“But, mom,” he replied, “everybody hates me, the sermons are boring and none of my friends ever come.”
His mother replied, “Now, son, that’s not true. First, everybody doesn’t hate you, only a couple of bullies and you just have to stand up to them. Second, the sermons mean a lot to many people. If you listened to them, you’d be surprised at how good they are in helping people. Third, you have lots of friends at church. They are always having you over to their house.
“And finally, you have to go, you’re the pastor!!”
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
(Evil Cackling)
bmonk over 14 years ago
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways,” said the nun.
“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something else that I could do, just for you.”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.
“Name it. Please!” said God.
“It’s those M&Ms,” said the blonde nun. “They’re so hard to peel…”
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Warning - Repeating Joke Ahead
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got? Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Paddy: I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
(Evil Cackling) (Maniacal Laughter)
Um… LuvH8 you OK? You’re starting to scare me. I’m picturing a cauldron somewhere nearby.
I LIKE IT!!bmonk over 14 years ago
An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate: his Doctor, his Priest, and his Lawyer. He told them he was dying that he really wanted to take it with him, and asked each of them to put the $50,000 he would give them into his casket at his funeral.
After the man’s funeral, the three professionals went to the local cafe for a coffee together.
As they were chatting, the doctor looked sheepishly at the other two and admitted, “I have to tell you two that I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me twice that on his medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested.”
The Priest said, “I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in with him.”
Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing! “I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that.
“I wrote a check for the full $150,000 and threw it in, after I retrieved your two envelopes! ! !”
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Night - Doc sleep fast
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
rac0308 ~ It’s just a little cauldron.
Good Night Doc T
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
Luvh8
So it’s bub,bub,bo,&trub??
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi all! Lots of warnings. I’ve been busy running for cover all morning! One more blonde joke, and I’m dying my hair.
If you don’t see me for a few weeks or months, it is because I may not be near a computer. If I am, I’ll say hello!
Have a good day, and I’ll pop in here when I can.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi & Bye Shika Have fun with whatever you are doing. Which is?
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Have a Good Day Everyone!
Abra Capocus! (disappears)
Plods with ...™ over 14 years ago
You 2 LuvH8
POOF! Like to keep it simple
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hey, I like your happy dance, LuvH8! What are you saying though? Looks like “Oh, Oh,Oh…..”
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi & Bye, Shika.
bmonk over 14 years ago
Hi and Bye, Shika. We’ll miss you… :-(
Besides, that was only half a blonde joke. It was also professional (nuns do profess vows; monastics are the original “professors”. Except for doctors’ Hippocratic Oath.)
Dry and Dusty Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good afternoon Fellow Baby, bmonk, rac,. Hi Shika, bye Shika! Partly sunny and windy here.
To borrow from rac, hope you don’t mind, rac!
KNOCK KNOCK‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ’
Now THAT’s FUNNY!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi Dry. I see you never get tired of hitting that paste button!
SNORT!Dry and Dusty Premium Member over 14 years ago
Thank you, Fellow Baby!
Smiley Rmom over 14 years ago
Hi, tribe! I’m having trouble with my computer - a lot of “not responding” going on. I’ve rebooted and now doing a complete scan. Plus, I’ll be heading to see my hubby tomorrow for a few days, so I don’t know how much I’ll be on. Don’t let my absence keep you from having fun! (And I see it hasn’t, so far today.)
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi Rmom Have fun ———- I just went to the break room to nuke my lunch and I saw an awfully good looking cake there. No it’s not chocolate, LuvH8, but it does look too good to resist. I’m told it’s a Banana Split Cake. I may have to grab a slab after lunch.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi, EMET He or she who posts first posts the breakfast. Note that you should also consider the favorites of the Tribe faithfull should you be first any time soon.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good afternoon Tribe!
Back for a bit to get a bite!
What’s up besides all the funny jokes and then some I don’t know?
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Hello Rmom, Grog, EMET & Bmonk.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
EMET. I’ve got a couple leeks I have to take care of. Hopefully we’ll be getting some rain toward the end of the week so that I won’t have to worry about it too much. But this is not typically the wet season.
If I’m on breakfast detail, I’ll try to remember to put your picks for breakfast on the menu. My menu is starting to get as long as some of the jokes here, anyways, so what’s a couple extra lines.
Are you going to Ottawa on vacation - or is it work-related?
AAnd I had nothing to say on In the Bleachers today
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Grog, what pray tell is the “A” for?
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
They’ll blow it yet. See the Montreal cartoonist’s opinion after the first few games. http://s1044.photobucket.com/albums/b449/Grogs_Photos/JPG%20files/
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
The A-Team, consisting of myself, EMET, Nighthawks, yyyguy and a few others. You will usually see this on In the Bleachers, but you can sometimes see it on other strips.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
I forgot Jor-El who I have not seen for a long time. Like yyyguy, he must be pretty busy.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I see, I see…………………………….
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Mmmm. That cake is good!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
http://www.seattlepi.com/fun/comic.asp?feature_id=Blondie
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
EMET, I hope nothings wrong - but I tend to think the worst when people disappear without warning.
Dry and Dusty Premium Member over 14 years ago
I saw Jor-el not too long ago, but sorry, can’t remember where it was.
Dry and Dusty Premium Member over 14 years ago
DDFENCE EMET, I shall do that!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
I thought you might like that, EMET.
bmonk over 14 years ago
@DocT, but you are virtually physically here…if that makes any sense at all.
bmonk over 14 years ago
That’s what I was afraid of. What I say usually makes sense to me–but then I know what I want it to mean. And it isn’t always clear, even to me.
bmonk over 14 years ago
DocT’s motto?
”I’m not tense; I’m just terribly, terribly alert”Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
Wow Doc “My, what big ears you have!”
bmonk I’m not tense, I’m naturally high strung.
And now this Shika is gone again. Out for dinner.
BBL maybe.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
WARNING ~ Joke Ahead
The ways to grade the final examsDept of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. Dept of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Dept of History: All students get the same grade they got last year. Dept of Religion: Grade is determined by God. Dept of Philosophy: What is a grade? Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. Dept of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. Dept of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
What the heck is a lert. :-)
bmonk over 14 years ago
@Cleo, I’ll tell you what a lert is when I get a round Tuit.
@LuvH8, too true. Also: in the Department of Economics, they use the same test questions every year–but the answers change every year.
I did hear of one Philosophy course where the final exam was one question: Why?
One student had the cheek to answer: Because! He passed.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Bmonk ~ It sounds like that student learned something from his parents.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Little Monster: “I hate my teacher.”
Mother Monster: “Well, then just eat your salad, dear!”
bmonk over 14 years ago
@LuvH8, I have three things to say to you:
Pbtpbtpbtpbtpbtpbt! :-Ϸ That student probably would have passed at age 4? Why don’t monsters eat clowns?They taste funny.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Bmonk
(giggles) Probably could have passed at age 3. Have you ever tried eating a clown?Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Bibbidi~bobbidi~GONE! (disappears)
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Evening Tribeandall.
Got done with my RL adventures for the day!
Hello, LuvH8, Bmonk & Cleo
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
EMET, I breathe hockey during the season until the end of the playoffs!
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Poof! (reappears)
Hi Lonewolf!Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Lonewolf - Doesn’t that get kind of stinky?
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Shazaaam! (disappears)
bmonk over 14 years ago
@LuvH8, only if you don’t wash the uniforms often enough.
serenasakitty over 14 years ago
Love the jokes. Thanks for brightening my day.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Evening Serena!
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
LuvH8–What do you mean, “doesn’t it get stinky?”
YOU’RE the one poofing!!!
:^)
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Howdy serena & Terry.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
What’s on your dinner menu this evening, Cleo? If I may inquire?
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Actually Terry, leftovers. Clams and rockfish from two previous dinners, but from two very good dinners.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Even your leftovers sound exquisite, Cleo.
:^)
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi cleo, ♠Lonewolf♠, serena & bmonk
cleo, your left-overs sound a lot better than my dinner.
Sorry I missed you, LuvH8.
♠Lonewolf♠, Emet lives hockey all year long!
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Evening, Grog!
I don’t have any games to watch in the off-season so other than the shakes I’ve learned to live with, I just wait till pre-season!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
I’m like that with football, ♠Lonewolf♠. To me hockey got less interesting the more they expanded the league and winter was lasting too far into June. I was well into baseball by then.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
78 posts on C&H today. Rina cuts into JAD on Broomie.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Grog, there are still certain teams I will always root for in hockey. Like you with football is right!
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I just saw that on BH, Grog.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
His remark on Annie wasn’t nice either. Didn’t seem called for.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
I’ll cheer for the Stars & Black Hawks in hockey (not that I see them much). I miiss seeing hockey on ESPN. They would often show the Bruins/Canadiens match-ups. You don’t see any Canadian teams on NBC.
Following the Bears, Raiders and Browns has been like giving them the kiss of death of late, but I still like to watch them in rivalry games as I do the Packers. I’ve always been a closet Saints fan.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I used to be a “closet Saints fan”, but I never warmed up to Sean Payton.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Yeah but I’ve seen remarks like that by other posters as well. People make similar remarks on B.C. Dogsniff was one of them, but I think we converted him.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I agree with you about that, but with some of his long winded posts, why should he care about others that say “hello” to each other.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
Hi TRIBE How is your evening going so far?
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
What’s going on ?
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi Ladywolf Just fine thankyou. I’m here while enjoying The Invisible Man with Claude Rains. How are you doing?
♠Lonewolf♠, I couldn’t agree more. I’d say the rest of us should have more to complain about. However, If his posts are longer than a short sentence, I will just move on to the next poster, who’ll probably be complaining about JAD’s post.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Evening, Ladywolf.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Coyote said “CLAMS GOT COUNTER-FEETS!!!”
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
I’m fine Grog Watching the hockey game betwwen Phoenix Coyotes and Detroit Redwings, sort of.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Same here about your earlier post, Grog.
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
I’m hoping that all of the orignal six in the playoffs win so that hopefully there will be an original six Stanley Cup. Not likely, but I’m hoping anyway.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
Hi ♠Lonewolf♠ It’s good to hear from you.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I know Ladywolf. And I am not exactly having a smooth time with the other venue in the way of posts.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Might just happen, Grog!
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Hi, Doc!!
Bye, Doc!!
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Hi & Bye, Doc
GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago
Well, my movie’s over, so I’ll take advantage of my sleepy state & call it a night.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
Knowing me, I’ll probably be off and on.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Night Grog.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Hibye Doc. Hello all. I just finished dinner and am awaiting LilG to watch a movie. Our weather has been very accomodating. It rains at night and is nice all day. It started pouring at about 5 and will probably rain some more when we go to bed, but it has been allowing us to do all this planting, which benefits greatly with a rainfall after it is in the ground.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
As for sports, I seem to be a jinx. Any team I care about seems to suffer. Fortunately I do not have TV anymore, because invariably, if I watched they would lose. Even without TV they all seem to suck. In recent years I have begun to get into more individual sports as opposed to team sports. Still, I suffer through the Mariners, Seahawks and Huskie seasons.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
I get that feeling about my teams too sometimes, Cleo. When I am watching and they start losing, I change the channel!
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Terry my dog used to walk into the furthest room of the house and close the door with her snout to avoid my displeasure at the Seahawks performance. LOL
Movie time, take care.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
hi
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Enjoy the movie, Cleo.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
Do you know how to break into a Ford?
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
LuvH8–Yes, some of them you can but, many of the newer ones you can’t without the type of tool kit I have,
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
93 Ford Explorer - keys locked inside, any ideas. My brother’s car.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
LuvH8–You can use a “slim jim” on that without damaging the lock rods. But there is no way to open it without it.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
Hi LuvH8.
Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago
hi LW18
Thank you Lonewolf
Have to go now, Lot’s of Luv Everyone!
cleokaya over 14 years ago
I think that LuvH8 actually wants to break into a neighbor’s car that has a tub of homemade cookies in the backseat, but who knows, I could be wrong.
Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
What is a round tuit? Any relation to an in tuit?
Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
cleo A lert is sort of like a ware, not a sleep, but lert.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Hello Shika. I am here for seconds, perhaps minutes. If I disappear, it has nothing to do with you. Nice to be in contact again with you. How is life treating you?
Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
Good night all! I finished my round tuits and now I’m off to it (bed, that is.)
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Well Shika you beat me in leaving, but I am gone too.
serenasakitty over 14 years ago
Kind of quiet tonight.
ladywolf17 over 14 years ago
It certainly is quiet. I guess everyone is just waiting for the update.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Echoing comments of quietude.
Shikamoo Premium Member over 14 years ago
Night
cleocleokaya over 14 years ago
Good night Shika. May we meet when we can connect.
cleokaya over 14 years ago
Well, I am ready for bed. good night everyone.
COWBOY7 over 14 years ago
Good Night, Cleo. Rest well sir.