Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for April 18, 2024

My Gracie has employed this technique at the bathroom door some mornings to voice her displeasure at me putting my full bladder ahead of her obviously empty tummy.

If the Woman trips over Elvis, she’ll be saying, “That’s wall, folks”…

I must hang out with a better class of cat. None have ever tried to do that to me.

If that door opens inward, Elvis is going to have some sense knocked into him…or out of him.

If it is a typical residential entrance door, it swings inward. Sweeping you, Elvis, into the wall.

If Elvis has calculated correctly, The Woman is doomed.

Hoping she drops the cat food on the floor as she goes flying?

Cats can go from angry to loving at the speed of thought. And vice versa.

I keep telling mine “If mom falls down, NOBODY’S getting fed for days”.

My Sebastian always runs just in front of me and then he slams on the brakes with no warning.

I hope the Woman knows Elvis well enough to (literally) not fall for that trick. And that she sweeten her apologies by sprinkling a bit of minced deli ham over their breakfast bowls. It might earn her just enough forgiveness to spare herself a few well-placed revenge hairballs later.

My Sunny is always underfoot at the worst times.

I don’t think I’m going to squee at Elvis’s toe beans. The claws may not be out, but they still look like they might suddenly become dangerous.

Just like Monroe. His nickname is Mr. Underfoot.

He’s gonna put her through that wall.

Do NOT mess with a hangry Siamese who definitely is not pleased.

That’s right cat. Lets her haves it for feeding you that pompously packaged hazardous dry theengs.

Kitties get so vindictive when one misses Cat Feeding Time

If we fall because a cat gets under our feet, it’s our fault for only having two feet. Cat logic – 101

Off-topic :

Angry Elvis toebeans!

It’s unusual for Elvis to be so violent toward the Woman, but he must be hoping that a kibble spill will result.

Cats have no respect for their humans. I know exactly what you mean. I think cats are naturally autistic.

Blackjack waits for the catsitter in the hallway Diane comes in through the garage to the laundry room to the hallway. Blackjack there twice a day. He must hear the garage door opening. Moose sits patiently wherever he is and waits. She sends me pictures twice a day to show me what they were up to the night before.

Oh god, I hope she has a laser pointer to counter this attack.

Our rabbit would dash in front of me and I would always shout, “ No tripping Mama!”Our son’s rabbit would do the same, but time it to make contact. My son called it “insurance fraud,” because the rabbit would get some treat for the supposed injury

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Iggy: So, Your Majesty, we would like to accompany the crew of the Red Planet Spider on their voyage to Britannia. The Royal Procurers wish to go, as well as Adobe Style, and Sophititi.

Queen Catshepsut the Golden Since you need someone proficient in metalworking, I would suggest also taking Iron Glove.

Iron Glove: I’m your chipmunk.

Thomios: Since we will be learning about how to make Double Down cheese, I would like to have Sue Chef go along as well.

Queen Cat: Very well. For a gift to King Arturos and Queen we will bring gold and cheese. Elvis, do you have any scrolls we could send as well? After, they are the real treasure.

Elvis-Anum: Yes, Your Majesty. I am proud to tell you my scribe apprentices have done a most satisfactory job on reintroducing many classic scrolls of humour and hints. They are very nearly ready to be elevated to full-fledged scribes.

Queen Cat: Wonderful! There will be a lovely banquet in the near future.

Felis obstructicus

Oh Elvis, Sweetie, – you should be ready to rejoyce at the arrival of cat food

And the bag of cat food she’s carrying, Elvis!

Slightly OT: yesterday’s Pearls Before Swine was good it is about dogs, but applies to cats too.

Laying in the doorway early in the morin

He shoulda thought his plan through that’s for sure

He didn’t know the woman wore stiletto heels

The Cat got stabbed and there you are

You got your

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Stinkin’ to high heaven

Take a whiff on me, that ain’t no rose

Open up the windows and hold your nose

You don’t have to look and you don’t have to see

’Cause you can feel it in your olfactory

You got your

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

And it’s stinkin’ to high heaven

Yeah you got your dead cat laying like a log

If he’d only listened to reason and not been a hog

Now he’s laying there all quiet and stiff

That means more kibbles for the rest of us

You got your

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Dead Cat in the middle of the floor

Stinkin’ to high heaven

C’mon stink

You got it

It’s dead, it’s in the middle

Dead Cat in the middle

Dead Cat in the middle of the road

Stinkin’ to high heaven

All over the floor, technicolor man

Oh, you got pollution

It’s dead, it’s in the middle

And it’s stinkin’ to high, high heaven

Smudge likes to guide me to the bathroom. I keep telling him to please get out of the way, and he looks at me like I have lost my mind. Imp follows me in and wants to sit on my lap while I am doing what needs to be done.

From Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella

Ten minutes ago you left here

I saw you go right out the door

It’s well after eight, now how long must we wait

Must we go hungry for evermore?

Ten minutes ago I saw you

And you told me the terrible news

How long will we last?

It is almost half past!

And soon I will head for your shoes!

It is almost lunch time thirty!

And poor Ora Z is in a swoon!

How could you ever do us so dirty?

And now it is almost afternoon!

On the floor by the door I’m lying

And soon there will be a great din!

You may slip, you may fall

As you trip o’er us all

From the door as you walk in!

Now don’t ever run out of food again!

“Kitty land mines”.

My Siamese would poop in my shoes when he was mad at me.

Careful, Elvis. She might just decide not to open those cans for you.

Sounds about right. Tripping their owners is a cat specialty.

I don’t think that is a good idea. The Woman could get seriously hurt.

OT: The goodness of Chewy

Human tripping has to be one of Elvis’s most finely developed skills.

OT: Georgia posted: “She is very tiny, (and likely always will be!) Clocking in around six pounds, Ora Zella has grown into a beautiful young lady cat in real life. Fabulous, dignified, fearless and just a little crazy in the right moments, like all great women. This weekend a bee got into the house. Before I could stop her, she stunned them with an uppercut. I was able to get a cup over the bee and usher it safely outside. Only six pounds, but she pulls the weight of five cats. I’m so grateful to live with this tiny force of nature, Ora Zella is a delight!”

OT: Special Day

Most of our cats learn fairly quickly NOT to do this. Even Skeezix seems to be starting to get the idea that it is a moving experience. When my moving ankle or shin encounters a cat, the cat gets moved, fairly gently but definitely. I simply scoop them up in the crook of my ankle. What I do have a problem with is not stepping on them when they are trying their best to get out of the way. I hate stepping on their paws, even when it’s mostly their fault. That’s when I’m likely to lose my balance, trying not to hurt them. (I had a bus run over my toes, once, so I have a lot of sympathy for them.)

I had no idea Elvis was this vindictive. At least it’s a dignified vindictive!