Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for December 14, 2023

Major Tom: And I’m floating in a most peculiar way. And the elf looks very different today

It’s an Elf on the Continental Shelf!

Oh look up in the sky. It a bird. It a plane. It the Hindenburg! … No waitsaminute.

i was hit by a giant flaming elf once

If only Brewster had filled it with hydrogen rather than his own breath.

Hopefully there’s at least one country on Brewster’s Earth that is still capable of shooting down a giant balloon.

How “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” festive!

“I saw a vision of a man on a flaming pie…”

My mother hit me with a giant, flaming elf once; once! Name the movie?

II have never been hit by a falling meteor. I know someone has, so I do worry. But I’m not worried about a falling giant, flaming elf. But I suppose it could happen, after the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Did anyone ever get hit?

that was a f*a*r*t;

So a meteor wipes out dinosaurs while we get the flaming elf?

Well in any case he would not make it to the ground; except possibly as small scorched pieces of plastic…He has virtually no mass to speak of and would likely slow down before burning up, reducing his speed and probably opening a seam or two. Remember, Boys and Girls that one of the first NASA satellites was a Mylar balloon called Echo 1.

Nothing says Merry Christmas like molten vinyl!

I doubt that it will make it that far, it’ll never make it through the space junk.

How unlikely.

Unlikely to make the passage in less than three million pieces.

Oh great… another overblown international incident over a balloon.

Falling down on New Jersey.

Santa, this is Houston, you have unsecured payload in orbit. Over.

Pam is smart, so I generally agree with her, but as it is inflated it will most likely float gently until it lands. Brewster didn’t use helium, so it will come down, but not fast enough to burn from the friction.

I despise “Elf on the Shelf”. They are just creepy. Burning them should become a holiday tradition, like burning Guys on Guy Fawkes night.

Right into Santa’s flight path!

Purely in the interests of Science, someone should try this in real life.

Now, all we gotta do is convince NASA.