Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for November 13, 2022

Changed her mind in a hurry.

You tell them Broomie, “never give up, never surrender “ to death. Yip yip yip yip yip

Maybe the gravedigger will find Yorick’s skull there.

Dad’s Shortcut

Dad used to tell us about the time he took a short cut home on Halloween. He grew up on a farm in western New York state, and at the time Halloween meant going out with his friend, Tommy, to do pranks. They had been out pranking drivers by tying a couple tin cans to the two ends of a long string, and waiting by a country road in the dark, one on each side, until a car came along. Then raising the string up between them as the car passed, to hook it on the bumper.

So after a night of fun, he was on his way home when he decided to take a short cut through the cemetery. (Yeah, I know. How stereotypical. But I’ve visited his old farm, and there is a cemetery nearby.)

It was dark, but he had used this short cut before. What he didn’t know was that a fresh grave had been dug, and in the dark he fell in. He tried to climb out, but it was fairly deep and the sides were still damp and slippery, and he just couldn’t. So he sat down in the corner to wait until morning, when someone might come by and hear him call for help.

A little later he heard someone else stumbling through the cemetery in the dark, but before he could call out, that person fell into the grave too. The guy didn’t notice Dad sitting in the dark behind him, but just tried to climb out. He had the same problem Dad had: the sides were too steep and he just kept slipping back down into the grave.

So Dad said, "Youuu’llll never get ouuut of heeeere. . . "

But he did!

Out walking last night decided to take short cut through a Cemetery when 3 young girls came towards me and said they were petrified walking through the grave yard and asked if they could walk along side me so I said yes…

As we were walking I said don’t worry I understand I used to be petrified walking through here when I was alive. Never seen anybody run so fast.

Run Broomy RUN! Neva giv up!

She’s green. She’s probably already dead.

Keep up with the jokes and the cemetery will soon be G@ylord’s new permanent home.

Broomie is more like 1,550 years old.

denial is one of her powers for sure.

You won’t get the brrrrs if you get cremated, gets nice and toasty warm.

♪ please don’t bury me down in that cold, cold ground…

Nothing beats getting the Life scared back into you, Broom-Hilda! Many years more!

Indeed.