Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for July 10, 2020

shoot the bicycle where, Calvin? its frame is metal and the gun’s bullets are metal; they’ll just ricochet

Better have two more lateral wheels .

C’mon Dad! This is war we’re talking about!

Put training wheels on it!!! Simple!!

How about if you use a tranquilizer instead?

Riiiight, because Dad’s going to let CALVIN, of all people, know where he keeps the gun.

I’m fascinated at Watterson’s depiction of the endless ways that Calvin evades (or at least tries to evade) reality. “I’m not afraid of or incapable of riding a bike! It’s a monster!”.

Forget rifles, how about a spike strip?

Those bruises are good for you Calvin. Falling down when learning to ride a bike (all together now) builds character! ;D

I remember when I first learned how to ride a bike I rode straight into a Rose bush.

There is a nice little invention called “training wheels” that you can use. Makes learning to ride a bike a lot easier and much less painful!

I like Dad’s repeating his previous statement as a fact not as a question. “You fell off?”. “You fell off.”

Considering how Calvin rides his wagon, he’d be suicide on a bike…

remember folks, almost all modern bicycles are what were once called ‘safety bicycles’ because they were and are safer to ride than older bicycles. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safety_bicycle

Calvin on a penny-farthing bike would be a sight to behold. Though he probably couldn’t reach the pedals.

I remember this scene on M*A*S*H where Colonel Potter shot his jeep when Frank Burns destroyed it with a tank.

“You… FELL OFF.”

Shooting doesn’t work, Calvin. Neither does hanging, nor even your favoured flamethrower…what you need is a powerful gas-cutter!

I was pretty lucky, took to it right away. Of course I was 27, but still.

You’d think Calvin would know by know whether or not his dad had guns.

Perhaps the bicycle has a ‘Christine’ complex. Remember that movie?

Boy Calvin sure doesn’t take responsibility very well. I wonder if he’s been watching Trump’s news conferences.

Given the choice, I would live in Calvin’s world. Much better story than “I fell off.” Who would want to listen to that?

Calvin and Dad live in different worlds.

One of Watterson’s arcs about Calvin not being able to ride a bike. I understand not everyone can. But when you have an imagination like Calvin does . . .

This reminds me of Charlie Brown’s struggles with his kite.

You ever notice Calvin never watches westerns or wants to play cowboy?

We’ve never seen Calvin in a cast or with injuries that would take him to an emergency room. Given his list of activities, that’s quite the miracle

Kind of a drama king you think?

and he survived … despite no helmet … hmmm

My first bicycle ran me into a telephone pole.

I know what that’s sometimes like when speaking with my parents. It’s as Calvin said earlier, “Even though we’re both talking English, we’re not speaking the same language.”

You must learn to think like a bicycle, little one. Roll like a bicycle, dream like a bicycle – become the Bicycle Whisperer. Or get a whip and chair.

I miss my banana seat.

There is one thing I can’t stand about how Calvin’s dad tries to teach him how to ride a bike, that “balance takes practice” BS. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to balance a stationary bike, a bike can only be effectively balanced when it’s moving, the torque of the rotating wheels holds it up like a gyroscope.

Well Calvin, you can go back to the tricycle now or wait about +/-70 years if you still want to bike around the neighborhood.

It IS dumb they don’t have training wheels on the bike.

I had that once. Dam 900 ccs put m in the hospital for 3 months.

For some , nothing hurts more than wounded pride.

1944 I was given a cousin’s bike. It was repainted, & had large blocks for pedals so I could reach them. What a great feeling to finally balance on a bike, & freedom to roam my Chatham NJ neighborhood. A few years later I didn’t need the blocks on pedals. Got a siren for a Birthday present. Pull a chain & it rubbed on front wheel. Used it to chase down ice cream vendor’s truck. One day local police wasn’t impressed & told me to take it off.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0liWES6qgxjRnNKVnRteGhLZ3M/view?usp=sharing

My parent’s treasured Bridge playing cards couldn’t be replaced during WW2. Using a wood clothes pin to hold a card next to spokes made a wonderful motor sound against the wheel spokes. May parents made very loud non-motor sounds of anger when they found out what happened to once crisp easy to shuffle cards.

Not only does balancing take practice, it also builds character… ;-)

“A thing about machines.”

My older brothers were somewhat less helpful than Calvin’s dad when I tried to learn to ride a bike. they thought letting the cattle out of the pasture to chase me while i tried to learn to balance would encourage me to master bike riding faster. It’s been over 40 years and i still can’t ride a bike. Of course these were the same brothers who tried to teach me to swim by throwing me into the lake off a dock , then waiting until i was going down for the third time before pulling me out. They still don’t understand why i’m afraid of the water.

Try learning to cycle without whining and the humble cycle will take you to places where you would enjoy much more. Learning to cycle is one of the best feelings we have as adults.

Dad just does not understand…..

he hurt himself on his birthday

Me: Don’t listen to him, Mr. Calvin’s dad. He’s just saying the bike is trying to kill him because he’s too scared to ride it. That, or he’s trying to cover up the embarrassment of falling off and/or crashing.

Calvin: I am not!

Dad: No, he’s right, Calvin. You really should stop making up outlandish claims like this that are clearly the product of your own boyish fantasies.

Calvin: Fantasies?! Could I really imagine stuff like this?!