Big Top by Rob Harrell for April 26, 2010

I think that you have grounds for disagreement.

And some perks as well!

Good Morning, Cleo. What’s for BF? :^)

Hello, boyz! I have raisin cinnamon bagels, along with poppy seed, plain, onion, blueberry and pumpkin ones. I also have three flavors of cream cheese. Enjoy!

Good Morning, Tribe

Thank you for the bagels, Marg!

Yeah, I have grounds for disagreement too. Around here the Starbucks franchise has a deal with Rakkav’s CocoMocha, Ltd.

Hemplers bacon and blueberry pancakes Trout with grits with caramelized onion and red pepper. Oatmeal with dried cheries, cranberries and bananas.P

Great breakfast, Cleo!

Eggs benedict Pancakes with blueberries and cream. Bacon and eggs with hashbrowns and whole wheat bread. Shrimp and polenta. Homemade granola

Good morning TRIBE

MMM! Starbucks.

Fresh raisin bread. Egg and sausage fry tongue and black bean taco sausage and fried egg muffin.

\

A smorgasbord! Better yet! lol

Good Morning Everyone!

Good Morning, LuvH8.

Hi Lonewolf

CLEO Wonderful offerings. Should I eat now or wait for the menu to grow.

Good Morning TRIBE! Somewhere the sun is shining, but I hear raindrops in my corner of paradise.

Hello Lewreader

Good Morning, Lewreader.

Um…… Lonewolf Your avatar is scary.

Looks warm and cozy. Maybe!

Cozy? Yeah. Would you want to cuddle up to that?

Heheh……..I sent you a question.

I’m going to have to start doing my trick. I haven’t done it in a long time. Have you ever used it?

No, I didn’t want to give up the secrecy of it, LuvH8.

Ah! Well I shall not tell anyone! (Shhh! It’s a secret!)

I don’t know what you are talking about! ;^)

Going to call it a night. Am getting tired now.

Good Night LuvH8.

Good Night All.

P&L

Hmm… how about professional jokes–lawyers, doctors, teachers, (absent minded) professors, and so on? ~ Selected by Bmonk

Lonewolf, I often don’t know what I am talking about.

Good Night, Rest In Peace.

Good morning Cleo, JFri, Marg, Lewreader and Johanan! Thanks for my eggs benedict kind sir! You know I will have that and some CocaMocha!

Good Morning Everyone!

Beautiful weather predicted for the week. The rain has moved on to the east. :^)

Good Morning Tribe! Good Morning ♠Lonewolf♠ & FELLOW BABY!

Good Morning, Grog.

You’d have better luck at Quark’s Bar than at Starbucks, Doctor Toon. Raktajino is the Klingon version of Nuclear Coffee.

As for me, CocoMocha is quite strong enough. It also gives me the feeling of well-being that (this side of romance) only chocolate can give one.

Goooood Mooooorning, Doctor Toon & Johanan I get all I need from an ice cold PEPSI!

Good Morning All!

I’m going to be on hiatus for probably a month or so, so no need to send out a search party.

Everybody play nice with each other!

Good Morning, DFrog We’ll miss your commentary for sure!

Good Morning, Doc, Johanan & DFrog.

Take it easy, DFrog.

Once again good morning All. It is starting out as a beautiful day once again here in the PNW. Doc you would fit in well up here. My community has more coffee shops per capita then any other city in WA. Many are locally owned, but there are some Starbucks as well, but there are a couple of local chains that are extremely popular and successful and most of all make Good coffee.

GM, Cleo.

Funny one, Doc

Good Morning Terry, Doc & Grog. It would be great to have you and wildcheetah in my neck of the woods.

Good morning, cleo

Good Morning, tribe! For those of you who already know, two popular of our comic strips here at this site has won awards! Lio [Uproarious Applause] and Cu De Sac [Standing Ovation Applause] Our thanks (mine as well) goes to Mark Tatulli and Richard Thompson for thier fine work in giving us our daily dose of humor.

It pains me to tell you (unless you already know it from GoComics here) that the political strip State Of The Union shuts down this Saturday. It’s a dissapointment to me. This strip (to me) was the replacement to the other politcal strip Prickly City, which jump ship from GoComics to Comics.com. Have a nice morning tribe! Catch you later!

The only non local grocery store in our community besides Trader Joes, is an Albertson’s. But Doc, there is a Safeway in the community of Lynden, just a few miles north of here. Our city is extremely supportive of local businesses.

Good Morning, All!

Except for cleokaya, who said, about 10 puns ago

“I think that you have grounds for disagreement.”

and ♠Lonewolf♠, who said, about 10 more puns ago

“And some perks as well!”

I think both of you should be roasted!

This strip has all the makings of a good brew-ha-ha.

Good Morning, Cleo. What’s for BF? :^)

@Josh 1360, say it’s not so! SOTU can’t shut down! Where will all the political curmudgeons go if they can’t tear each other up over at SOTU!

Good morning, bmonk. You are off to a witty start this morning!

WARNING ~ Dumb Lawyers Ahead!

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.

The first lawyer announced, “Those are deer tracks. It’s deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey.”

The second lawyer responded,”Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we’ll waste the day.”

Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

LuvH8, I heard this version also:

WARNING – dumb joke – WARNING

Two lawyers were out hunting in the woods when they came across some tracks. They immediately began arguing about what made them.

The first lawyer pointed out that they were very big, so had to be moose.

The second lawyer said, “No, no, those are too big for even moose. THey must be bison tracks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Do you hear the rumble of their hooves as they run?”

“No”

“Well, put your head down to the tracks like this and listen.”

“Yes, now I can hear it. In fact, it seems to be getting louder.”

The next day, the Rapid City Journal carried the story about two lawyers who had gotten run over by a train.

Edit: stupid formatting corrections.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law.

A great lawyer knows the judge

So, you’re still hanging on to those knock-knock jokes are you, well

Lawyer’s maxim:

When the law is against you, argue the facts.

When the facts are against you, argue the law.

When both are against you, shout like a banshee.

Good Morning, rac0308!

Good Morning All

Busy Busy Busy since 0 Dark 30 this morning. Just got a break.

stay safe DFrog

Maybe the SOTU posters will actually go to the Pol tunes for their daily diatribes.

An Observation by Sandra Day O’Connor

“There is no shortage of lawyers in Washington, DC. In fact, there may be more lawyers than people.”

Good morning, tribe.

Doc, you need to get Wink some of your coffee. Poor fellow needs it.

People Drowning If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Here’s a Q&A on lawyers:

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70? A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? A: His partners.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one? A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic.

Q: How does an attorney sleep? A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity? A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech> A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Keep smilin - gotta go

Bmonk ~ I think I like your version slightly better.

Grog ~ Shhh! Do you want people to start telling knock-knock jokes? How many times can you type ‘Who is there?’

Bmonk ~ You get to pick who picks next week’s joke theme.

@LuvH8, I did post a couple of replies to you on last week’s For Heaven’s Sake.

Oh I dunno LuvH8

‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’ ‘Who is there?’‘Who is there?’

Copy and Paste is a wonderful thing!!

Good morning, tribe! Digital Frog - We’ll miss your witty comments, please return as soon as you can!

JOKE At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Mont., lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: “First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates. Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you. Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated….” A voice from the audience cut in: “Well, there go the rest of us.”

Yes it is, rac0308, for those repetitive things and, particularly when posting breaksfast here.

Good Morning, Rmom!

Doc ~ That was crazy.

Bmonk ~ okay

rac0308 ~ Please do not insult the vultures.

Grog ~ You serve us reruns?

Digital Frog ~ It will be less pun without you.

Hi, Doc, Grog & LuvH8! ~JOKE~ Five surgeons were taking a coffee break. The first surgeon said, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second surgeon said, “Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third surgeon responded, “Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.” Then the fourth doctor interceded, “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and their butts are interchangeable.” To which the fifth surgeon, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, replied, “I like engineers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”

~JOKE~

Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

The terrorist threatened to release one lawyer every hour if his demands weren’t met.

Doc - That Geech comic was eerily similar to what we experienced at the estate sale. The garage never got completely sorted, so we just let people rummage through it. More than once, we had to ask them just what it was they were buying!

Take a look at http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-starbucks-opens-in-rest-room-of-existing-starb,560/

LuvH8 You may call them “reruns”, but the menu is so varied that you could have something different every day of the week. I will also modify it as demand requires. I added PEPSI for us addicts, I added chocolate (primarily for you) and ice cream for the ice cream lovers.

I am forever tweeking. It will soon get to the point that my menu will be longer than one of your jokes….Perhaps it is a joke. I don’t know.

LuvH8

Those were the compliments. I left out the REALLY bad ones.

In fact, I am thinking of adding pepsi, rootbeer and cream soda floats to my next breakfast posting, when ever that may be.

Grog - Thanks for the Pepsi this morning! I’m still trying to wake up thoroughly, but the caffeine is helping.

rac - Are these the JOKES you left out?

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The vulture has the courtesy to wait until you are dead.

Q: What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.

Q. What is the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A. One is a soul-less, bloodsucking monster, and the other can turn into a bat.

I really liked the second one, Rmom But then lions, tigers & bears (Oh my) concurrently would look good on a lawyer.

A student stopped the professor in the quad after the lecture, and said, “Doc S, I didn’t understand that last proof. Can you explain it a bit more?”

The professor went into a trance, and after a few minutes said, “Yes, you can do it that way also.”

“But I don’t understand? How do you get from here to there?”

The professor goes blank again, and says, “This way works also.”

“But what are you doing?”

“Look, I’ve offered you three ways to prove that statement. If you cannot follow them, I can be of no further help to you.”

(A joke said of various math, and other, professors, who had rather obscure proofs.)

Okay, I guess, just remember vultures (the birds) are our friends.

Rmom - Here’s the one….

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? A: Chelsea Clinton

That’s a tame one

Last hit, then back at it. May have time later when I get home. Bye Y’all…have a GREAT DAY!!*

Bad Reputation Isn’t it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.

Postal Service Goof The Postal Service just had to recall their latest new stamp issue. Lawyers were part of the design and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

I hate coffee, so starbucks has no effect on me.

Rac - LOL!

Gone for Now, Have Fun!

Hi, johnny! I don’t drink coffee, either. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a Starbucks. (And yes, they do have those in KS.)

~JOKE ALERT~ A lawyer and his Czech friend were camping in a backwoods section of Montana. One morning, the two went out to pick berries for their breakfast. They went gathering berries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn’t so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. “He’s in THAT one!” cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend’s family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. “What did you do that for!” exclaimed the lawyer, “I said he was in the other!” “Exactly,” replied the sheriff. “Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?”

That was a doozy, Rmom. I had to turn my brain back on for a minute to get it…

johnny - Was it THAT difficult to understand, or is just because it’s Monday?

WARNING ~ Doctor Joke Ahead

Doctor: “It’s no good. I can’t find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking.”

Patient: “I’ll come back when you’re sober then!”

Rmom ~ I had to turn on my brain too. It hurt! It was worth it though.

That joke could also qualify for a double idiot joke. It would take an idiot to believe that shooting a bear would save a person eaten by a bear.

Good afternoon, Tribeandall

Good Afternoon, ♠Lonewolf♠, LuvH8 &Rmom

Hello Lonewolf

WARNING ~ Colored Pills Ahead!

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well.

The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medication the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

The Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

I have to admit, medication is my only source of water. I go through a bottle every couple or three days.

Hi Grog

Hello, LuvH8, Rmom & Grog.

I stepped away to get something to eat.

Do you have COOKIES?!?

You got a PEPSI to go wash that down with, ♠Lonewolf♠?

How’s this?

And this, Grog……

Fortunately that doesn’t do it for me. I like peanut butter cookies (the only way I’ll eat peanut butter) or those gourmet style cookies heavy in cholesteral and dripping in sat fats.

Heheh, yes it is, Grog. I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears in my eyes!

If that doesn’t quench your thirst nothing will. Better hope the bathroom’s empty after finishing all that.

What kind of cookies are those?

Um, swimming in Pepsi. Oooh, tingly!

Maybe the shadow to the right is of the port-a-potty that is delivered with it?!

Strawberry Oreos?

That’s what I thought they were. I haven’t eaten Oreos since I was a kid though.

I was never much on cookies, but during the Christmas season I used to buy a few pounds of Mister Filix & Monsieur Norton cookies for the Finace group in Montreal. They were positively the best cookie you’ve ever had. Aside from my Mom’s home-made peanutbutter cookies, they were the only cookies I would eat.

NOW I’m getting hungry!

Your not sure? You try one first!

Grog, I do like the peanut butter Oreos. Perfect for cravings!

My email is sending my messages to myself to Spam, and I am listed as a contact! How rude!

No, LuvH8, you first!

I used to get those on my old office e-mail account. Fortunately, the spam filter got them.

I’m not even into peanut butter sandwich cookies. And since my Mom has since past on, I will not be having any more of her peanut butter cookies.

Let’s make Grog do it!

Don’t all go at once. Get Mikey!

Uh-Uuuuuuuugh! I’m not going to try it. You try it!

I’m homeward bound now. And no I didn’t try a cookie!

Catch y’all later!

The peanut butter ones are good, they taste nothing like the peanut butter sandwhich ones. More like the crunchy peanut butter cups.

I make good peanut butter cookies. Na na na naaa!

Okay, here goes. Hey! It’s peppermint!!! Yummy!!! Since you wimps wouldn’t try them, you don’t get any!

Catch you when you get home, Grog.

Good afternoon, Doc.

Hi Doc!

What are you doing this evening?

Headed out to the garage with James. I got a new a/c manifold gauge set that he wants to see.

BBS.

Lonewolf Have fun with James

Doc There is always something that needs to be done.

It is overcast and gloomy here. Did they switch you to the bad coffee?

rain

I feel left out siince I quit drinking coffee ) : Maybe I can pretend my water is coffee?

LuvH8 they make caffeinated water, at least a company in my state did a few years ago.

Have fun Doc!

Cleo ~ I suppose that could be a start, if I cooked it until the liquid was reduced to 1/5 the original amount.

Hello Cleo

I’m home, but I got the plumber here. Just discovered a leaky pipe in my sprinkler system. Not sure when I’ll be back.

Hi Grog ~ Good Luck!

Gone For Now

LuvH8 The fake coffee reminds me of my early work years. If you smoked you got to take nice breaks in the breakroom. Thing was it was easier to take a break if you smoke…..

So I got me a cigarette size paper and rolled it up. I colored one end like a filter, complete with a dark stripe and squiggles to look like the name. Then I burnt the end and did a thin red line around the char. It fooled everyone but the smokers for nearly a year.

It is to bad that you need to fake smoking a cig to get a decent break Quaby. Good trick though. LOL

Greetings all.

Love the jokes.

One thing I like about my job is that it is usually fairly quiet at night so there is a lot of time to read or do crossword puzzles. I have occasionally thought of switching to day shift but they are too much like work. Plus I would have to take a cut in pay. So I think I’ll stay where I am until I can quit. [Like when I win the lottery]

Good evening everyone!

Hello, Serena, Quaby & Cleo

Have fun in the shed, Doc

Good luck with the sprinkler leak, Grog

Catch you later, LuvH8.

Good evening, tribe!

~Joke~

Q: What is the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Good evening, Rmom.

Hi, Terry!

Hi Terry & Rmom.

It has been a work in the yard day for me. Which is pretty much the state of affairs here most spring and summer days. LOL

How did your day go?

I’ve been busy with car repairs myself today. James is doing quite well in learning the ropes, though.

Hi, Cleo! Sounds like you’re going to be really busy with the yard work now. There have been more than one neighbor in our development who kept their property looking like a park, and then decided to move because it took too much time.

It is work Rmom, but being here is so unlike any other place that I have lived, so unique to have neighbors on either side of us, but to have privacy and such a nice view. Eventually it will be to much work, but it is such a unique property that it should sell very easily and for a very good price. Meanwhile, it is our little corner of paradise.

Good evening to you all.

Good evening, Ladywolf & Emet

Good evening, ♠Lonewolf♠, Ladywolf & EMET (A)

Well $200 later, the leaks were found but not fixed. I’ll have to get the company that installed the system here.

Ladywolf Are the Habs playing tonight?

Hi, Grog.

The Blackhawks are playing. 4-3 in the first period!

Montreal beat Washington 4-1.

Series tied 3-3.

GrogThe Habs won tonight 4 -1 to force a game seven.

For the Blackhawks?

I only saw the final period.

Hi Doctor Toon

I wish I had a shed. My garage would be so much cleaner.

Hi Doc.

4-3 Blackhawks, Grog.

Hmm, I wonder what the Montreal cartoonist is drawing now.

The Montreal goalie made 53 saves in the win!

A team can go a long way with a hot goalie.

I guess the game was a lot less one-sided than the score would indicate.

I don’t know who their goalie is but I’m sure he’s no Gump Worsley, Ken Dryden or Patrick Roy.

Not hardly one of those three, Grog. LOL

Great timing, Doc. You managed to come in during some hockey talk.. But I’ll cut it out.

Me, too!

Since I can’t watch the game I’ve got Talk of the Town on, with Cary Grant, Jean Arthur and Ronald Colman.

Ive really started to take a liking to Jean Arthur movies.

Good Night, Doc. Enjoy the movie.

Catch you in the AM!

Good Night Doc. As usual, I post just after you have left. Grog, I love Jean Arthur and of course Cary Grant and Ronald Colman are not slouches either. Since we do not have TV, we are watching Damages tonight. It is a very intense series, that my cousin turned us on to.

Hi cleo. I have this movie on DVD as part of a Cary Grant collection, but since I only watch my movies alphabetically, I won’t be seeing this one for a while. I’m finishing off I this week. I’ll be on J next week.

Oh, look out, I’ll be watching Kelly’s Heroes within a couple weeks. I don’t have much in J

I am so not looking forward to the month of May. It will be nothing but assesment testing in school for the whole month.

Oh well! I do want June to get here so that I can graduate from high school. I am looking forwards to that day.

I got the chance to meet one of Cary Grant’s wives a number of years ago. Dyan Cannon’s parents live in Seattle and I saw her and watched my dog go ballistic when she approached us. She was very nice and quite a hottie.

And what happens from there, Ladywolf?

cleo, I have to agree. I had the hots for Dyan myself when I was much younger.

Grog I share your love of classic movies. There are very few movies that I like to watch over and over again, but the ones that I do are very special.

I’m not sure but I think the first movie I saw her in was The Last of Sheila

And exit stage left…. movie time.

College.

Enjoy the movie, Cleo.

The Last of Sheila had a very good cast.

Smart move, Ladywolf. Do you know what discipline you want to get into?

I’m interested in physical therapy ,and also the field of sports medicine.

Other than that I wouldn’t mind learning about photography.

Somehow, I think I should have known. But yes that’s a good field to get into, Ladywolf. Sounds like a lot of schooling though.

Well, my eye lids are starting to get heavy. Since it’s Monday, I’m hoping I sleep well. Otherwise I could be back before the turnover.

I don’t mind if it is a lot of schooling. I just want to be set for life with a good career.

Rest up well Grog.