Cow and Boy Classics by Mark Leiknes for May 21, 2006

Transcript:

"My science project was going to focus on my invention of teleportation, but the more research I did, the more I discovered that inventing teleportation may in fact not be a good thing." My Science Project: An Exercise in Restraint "Observe the first problem of teleportation as shown in this Photoshop rendering." Exhibit A: "Here you see the result of using the teleportation machine at the same time as a friend. Chances are your molecules will intertwine, ending up with an outcome not unlike this." "Now let's check out Exhibit B." Exhibit B: "Even if you use the teleportation pod alone, what are the chances that trillions of molecules that have been blown apart will be reassembled in the exact same spot? The odds aren't good." "I'd have to say unless we want a world of half-human, half-animal mutants with arms coming out of their foreheads, teleportation is better left uninvented." In Conclusion: Mankind better off without it. "You told me you were doing photosynthesis." "My plant died." 1 + 2 = Anyone? LEARN