Free Range by Bill Whitehead for July 02, 2020

You may lose your wings after this is over!!

I think he will face the wrath of the Old Man.

That cloud isn’t going to hold you up much longer.

I had a moment like that in the 8th grade boys locker room with my gym teacher. I wasn’t saying anything mocking or derogatory, but the boy I was talking to tried to crawl into his locker. That’s how I knew. I never heard a peep about it from the gym teacher.

I once was working at comedy competition and I couldn’t see them. Well I heard this funny joke form one of the contestants and told it to this guy sitting at the table. He then told me it was his joke. I apologized for telling his joke. He said, “Don’t worry about it, it is a sign of good luck to do that.” He won the competition too.

I’ve had a couple of occasions when I was in the Old Man’s shoes (does He wear shoes?)!

I don’t mean I was God (I don’t claim that out loud) – just that I was a teacher and walked in on students “discussing” me!!

“…He’s right behind me isn’t He…” He’s everywhere.

And that is the not-so-well-known true story of Lucifer’s demise.

The real reason Satan got kicked out of Heaven.

Once in the 6th grade, some of us were outside and one of the boys said, “Our teacher is the flower of the class. A blooming idiot.” The teacher was right behind him. But he was cool.

Another “right behind me” strip at Foxtrot Classics.

You all appear to be in White Man Heaven. Mean place, we hear.

It’s not really a good idea to mock someone with ultimate authority over your very existence.

Fortunately there’s nobody down here that has that although several Heads of State think they do.

He has a twisted sense of humor – getting elderly women past their time to pregnant; that’s his kind of funny. #sarah

Was this the moment that man developed a crack in his ass?!

There’s gonna be some smitin’ after all.

He became a Fallen Angel ten seconds later.

The god of the old testament is probably the most violent character in all of fiction.

Personally, I think any wise deity would be a SHE.