Mike du Jour by Mike Lester for February 22, 2021

LOL

So where’s Picasso’s dog Lick (AKA Oscar Mayer)? Will he (Lick) approve of the competition? Will she approve of the matching outfits, makeover night, ice cream, trampoline, and sofa fort (2-27-2020)? OK, I miss Lick.

Note: Last week’s arc was recycled (1-23-2017).

I didn’t mean a mail order bride, I meant Nutrisystem…..you Twit!

Are you sure he wasn’t thinking about the system that Inspector Lugar used on the Barney Miller show? Lugar hit a gold mine there.

I ordered a mail order bride once. She took one look at me, stuck a return to sender sticker on her forehead and jumped into the mail truck.

A Polish friend of mine went back to Poland in 2000, to find a woman as a wife. He found a gorgeous blond, married her. The had 5 children all boys. She divorced him moved here to the U.S. because she said, he got fat, bald and impotent. He wrote me and said he was not fat or bald, just impotent. She by the way, married a young guy here and had two children with him. Two girls!

Funny how a 200-lb. wife can affect one’s potency…or interest.

Funny how disbanding a pandemic team can kill a few hundred thousand people. (Sorry- I’m not on Twitter – just couldn’t ignore that tweet.)

Order me two for Saturday night