Monty by Jim Meddick for July 16, 2014
Transcript:
Ok... I'm busted! But come one step closer, and your lil friend gets it! Gulp! That's right! I do hate gnomes! Ever since Lawnco Inc issued gnome #381-A... Looks just like my late husband!... Thought I was rid of him... But now... Wherever I go, mini Wilbers mock me from neighbors yards! I hate em... Hate em all! So now it's time to say goodbye to... What? But... How? I just texted the police during her manacled monologue. Yay!
Ida No over 10 years ago
Too bad. She was the only bright light in this sad, darkness-filled world. Lawn gnomes are a pimple festering on the butt of the planet.
Boots at the Boar Premium Member over 10 years ago
Want: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f439/
Sisyphos over 10 years ago
Gee! Will the sweet little Old Lady have to do hard time? And, Monty? —Don’t be so derned smug as you brag to us of your achievement in having a mentally disturbed little Old Lady arrested for breaking your lawn ornament because it reminded her of her (evidently hated) late husband Wilbur….
Brass Orchid Premium Member over 10 years ago
And I would have gotten away with it too, if not for my obsessive need for pointless exposition.
billyruffian over 10 years ago
Makes one wonder how Wilbur met his end? Sounds like a cold case to me…
swedishdaddy over 10 years ago
Wow, Monty has dexterity and mult-tasking capability now!
Laird Nelson over 10 years ago
I want to see Jim’s garden.
1Username over 10 years ago
She’ll get a fine for vandalism, and be set on her merry, head-chopping way. Sounds like she’ll be fine with that.
boldyuma over 10 years ago
(Paraphrasing Tuco in the movie The Good,Bad, and Ugly)“If you’re going to chop…chop..Don’t talk ….chop.”
yangeldf over 10 years ago
you can text 911 these days?
stamps over 10 years ago
Texting 911
Mat3 over 10 years ago
Should have been Monty’s police girlfriend showing up to save them.
PettyMower over 10 years ago
Meddling kids with their Smart Phones!
PettyMower over 10 years ago
Meddling kids with their Smart Phones!
Hunter7 over 10 years ago
some time ago – Telus set up a truck by one of our skytrain stations – giving out freebies. Though it meant carrying that darn thing on skytrain and bus to class and home, with all those stares from commuters – but gosh darn it! I got me one of those pink flamingos!.despite not having a yard for it to grow.