The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
I had an idea for my funeral, but Hunter S. Thompson beat me to it. Now I gotta go with the big musical number instead… I know, Bob Fosse beat me to that one too, but when all is said and done, it’ll still be easier and possibly cheaper than trying to secure permissions from the FAA, the BATF, and the Atomic Energy Commission.
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it’s your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
ahh yes the life of brian ! & pjo’rourke! (fine satirist!) , devout being enthusiastic about something,and buddhists seek enlightenment not god. all that said, very funny ‘toon. thanks wiley .
An agnostic is one who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
An atheist is one who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.
A devout agnostic would have a strong conviction that doubts God’s existence; one with little faith.
To declare “See you later” even with “Maybe” is a sign of faith and hope, therefore worthy of resurrection.
The resurrection to judgment is a chance to dwell forever in the Kingdom of God.
I hope to see you all there one day.
I am agnostic because I do not believe it is possible to know whether or not their is something beyond myself.
I am comfortable being an agnostic because I believe that if their is something beyond my ability to know that what will be important in the end is how you treated others not which religion or belief system you chose to follow.
I am searching for my own sense of spirituality because I believe that everyone is different and needs to practice their belief systems (religious or not) for themselves and not so that others will think better of them.
I have chosen to define spirituality as a set of beliefs that helps bring an individual a sense of peace.
Since I have smashed my denominational glasses, I have a better vision of what love is. (denomination - a class or kind of persons or things distinguished by a specific name)
Being too comfortable in the wrong place can get you dead. Being at peace doesn’t mean you’re right, merely accepting what you are. And, if what you are is dying, and someone knows the cure, then you can surely die in peace or live in the discomfort of hearing the truth.
What if your life isn’t about you, but about the person who loves you so much they want you to be well and live eternally?
What if being at peace is not the solution but part of the problem?
Mr Doty Being agnostic has nothing to do with being without knowledge. There are people in every belief system that are without knowledge, and even more without wisdom.
ronaldmundy - I don’t want a service, maybe a party. One of those big fireworks being sent up into the sky to spread my ashes would be a really cool send off.
somebodyshort - I’ve never been to a funeral that was mostly about the deceased. And I have been to several funerals where I have found the behavior of some of the attendees downright offensive.
plus4 - I’d rather admit to ignorance than pretend to be something I’m not just to be accepted.
As long as we are not flaming each other, this is a cool discussion. Love your points, LuvH8 and well said freeholder1.
My FIL just passed away very quickly first weekend in Dec, 2009. He was very frail and got sick, probably with flu (one of the 40,000+ every year) and it converted to pneumonia very fast. He was sick on Friday and gone on Monday. We had a nice memorial service at his local church, then follow-up at his house. Had quite a few people over, including relatives from within 3 hours or so, so it was a good get-together. I think it was a good party, no booze (no, not a contradiction) and everyone fairly enjoyed themselves.
I would hope my own memorial would be a celebration as well and I would positively effect enough people that would care to come reminisce about me as well as catch up with news about each other’s lives. Hopefully more people are doing better in life for generations to come because I was here, then if I never existed. That would be a cool legacy.
Man had funeral for wife and pallbearers were taking coffin to cemetary when they hit the wall going out the church doors and heard a moan inside! Opening the coffin, found she was only in a coma, and recovered.
10 years later, new funeral and they were taking her coffin out again through the church front doors.
The husband cried out: “Watch out for that wall!”
———————-
Man had funeral for wife, when suddenly the Devil popped up. Church goers went running and screaming in all directions but the man just sat there.
Devil said, “Aren’t you scared?”
Old man, “Nope. I married your sister. She should be there by now.”
Devil said, “Yes, she is. Why else do you think I came up here?”
——————–
Man and wife were vacationing in Israel and she died one night. Funeral director told him it was $5000 USD to send her body back home to the USA, or $150 to bury her locally.
Man thought it over and said, “Ship her home.”
Funeral Director said, “But why spend so much when you can bury her here so cheaply?”
Man said, “Well, you had Someone else buried here and He rose after 3 days. I just cannot take that chance.”
We went, (just after Christmas), to a wake for an old local artist, heckuva nice guy, who expected to attend, but as it turned out, was already too ill to make it. The flyer said “Your last chance to have a free drink on Dave Spurlin”.
Several joined me in hoping we could have enough warning to do something similar - and be able to attend and say ‘So long’ to friends.
My Uncle Art , when he was a pall bearer, would rap his knuckles on the side of the coffin, so the people on the other side would think it was coming from inside…
ronaldmuny, great idea on the fire works. I think I’m gonna request that for me!
Emerson wrote the word Nature with a capital N. That’s about the way I see it. The native American idea of the great spirit seems to fit. But, what ever it is, comes from within, it is a part of us and we of it. That’s my take on it.Do I believe it? No. You can’t believe anything until it is proven to you. But I guess I do kind of accept it on faith.
I am comfortable with the title of Agnostic (not my life). To me it does not matter what anyone’s belief system is because as far as I am concerned they could all be right. It is how you choose to use the belief system that is important.
I do not think anyone is constantly at peace with themselves or the world in general. Just that it is something we work towards in order to be happy.
I really do not believe that it is all about me. If I did, it would be so much easier. I attempt to make a positive difference because I do not want those I love to have to endure what I have (and also because I feel better about myself when I am able to help someone or make them smile).
Bunnyface - Santa is one of my heros!! Well………sort of…..I didn’t really like him in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer……..but he did admit to his mistakes in ‘The Year Without A Santa Claus”……..He has kind of gone too commercial.
Okay I like the idea of Santa Claus.
(Can ideas purchases souls?)
WoodEye almost 15 years ago
He was President of Agnostics for Anarchy, but then again as Anarchists everyone is President…….
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
P. J. O’Rourke “Modern Manners”
ArtyG almost 15 years ago
What is this “death” of which you mortals speak? I am a pet rock.
Jml58 almost 15 years ago
I do not fear death.
Where I am death can not be.
Where death is I can not be.
grapfhics almost 15 years ago
Talk about sidetracking a comic.
ronaldmundy almost 15 years ago
what the hell,luvh8? drop the box, throw some dirt,show up for food and drink, go home. grieving is for those you can’t pay their bar tab.
FresnoDude almost 15 years ago
The deceased must have been a pre enlightened Buddhist since the word devout is used which would imply a system of beliefs.
wicky almost 15 years ago
Maybe more of a “seven day atheist”.
pearlandpeach almost 15 years ago
hedging his bets…. nothing like trying for a push.
whasupdude almost 15 years ago
“Agnostics for Anarchy…’ Does that mean he is a president of something he does not believe is true? Whas’ up with that?
Rocks do die…albeit very, very, very slowly.
Wildcard24365 almost 15 years ago
I had an idea for my funeral, but Hunter S. Thompson beat me to it. Now I gotta go with the big musical number instead… I know, Bob Fosse beat me to that one too, but when all is said and done, it’ll still be easier and possibly cheaper than trying to secure permissions from the FAA, the BATF, and the Atomic Energy Commission.
lazygrazer almost 15 years ago
Can’t read the last line on the tombstone and suspect it’s pertinent to the joke ‘cause I’m not laughing.
Anybody??
wilburgarrod almost 15 years ago
Last line appears to be MAYBE
Plods with ...™ almost 15 years ago
that’s really -f-ed up, somebodyshort. I hope your ex gets some help.
Plods with ...™ almost 15 years ago
@Wiley Miller:
If you don’t mind, I’d like to use this one on my email signature. Proper credit given, of course.
Digital Frog almost 15 years ago
Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He was up all night contemplating the existence of dog…
Potrzebie almost 15 years ago
For life is quite absurd And death’s the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it’s your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath
GailRubin almost 15 years ago
Another great cemetery/death cartoon to feature on The Family Plot Blog! http://TheFamilyPlot.wordpress.com
Nighthawks Premium Member almost 15 years ago
it’s true about the longevity of rocks .. My pet rock from the seventies hasn’t aged a day
pearlandpeach almost 15 years ago
@ digital frog: perfect, wonderful.
my very good laugh for the day.
mjd.kwanyin almost 15 years ago
ahh yes the life of brian ! & pjo’rourke! (fine satirist!) , devout being enthusiastic about something,and buddhists seek enlightenment not god. all that said, very funny ‘toon. thanks wiley .
JRMadDog Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Just remember, WoodEye … Anarchy is better than no government at all!
vexatron1984 almost 15 years ago
Hee, hee, hee…love it.
ottod Premium Member almost 15 years ago
No it doesn’t, Joe.
lazygrazer almost 15 years ago
Thanks for translating the last line, guys….I now get it and am laughing. ………………………… Yuppers to Doctor Toon and Commerce.
I figure, if the wilderness was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
mickchump almost 15 years ago
An agnostic is one who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God. An atheist is one who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods. A devout agnostic would have a strong conviction that doubts God’s existence; one with little faith. To declare “See you later” even with “Maybe” is a sign of faith and hope, therefore worthy of resurrection. The resurrection to judgment is a chance to dwell forever in the Kingdom of God. I hope to see you all there one day.
ronaldmundy almost 15 years ago
ram a dam a ding dong.
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
I am agnostic because I do not believe it is possible to know whether or not their is something beyond myself.
I am comfortable being an agnostic because I believe that if their is something beyond my ability to know that what will be important in the end is how you treated others not which religion or belief system you chose to follow.
I am searching for my own sense of spirituality because I believe that everyone is different and needs to practice their belief systems (religious or not) for themselves and not so that others will think better of them.
I have chosen to define spirituality as a set of beliefs that helps bring an individual a sense of peace.
Since I have smashed my denominational glasses, I have a better vision of what love is. (denomination - a class or kind of persons or things distinguished by a specific name)
freeholder1 almost 15 years ago
Problem, Luv.
Being too comfortable in the wrong place can get you dead. Being at peace doesn’t mean you’re right, merely accepting what you are. And, if what you are is dying, and someone knows the cure, then you can surely die in peace or live in the discomfort of hearing the truth.
What if your life isn’t about you, but about the person who loves you so much they want you to be well and live eternally?
What if being at peace is not the solution but part of the problem?
I know, I know. You doubt it. :)
Sluffo Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Well said LuvH8.
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Mr Doty Being agnostic has nothing to do with being without knowledge. There are people in every belief system that are without knowledge, and even more without wisdom.
ronaldmundy - I don’t want a service, maybe a party. One of those big fireworks being sent up into the sky to spread my ashes would be a really cool send off.
somebodyshort - I’ve never been to a funeral that was mostly about the deceased. And I have been to several funerals where I have found the behavior of some of the attendees downright offensive.
plus4 - I’d rather admit to ignorance than pretend to be something I’m not just to be accepted.
rugratz2222 almost 15 years ago
As long as we are not flaming each other, this is a cool discussion. Love your points, LuvH8 and well said freeholder1.
My FIL just passed away very quickly first weekend in Dec, 2009. He was very frail and got sick, probably with flu (one of the 40,000+ every year) and it converted to pneumonia very fast. He was sick on Friday and gone on Monday. We had a nice memorial service at his local church, then follow-up at his house. Had quite a few people over, including relatives from within 3 hours or so, so it was a good get-together. I think it was a good party, no booze (no, not a contradiction) and everyone fairly enjoyed themselves. I would hope my own memorial would be a celebration as well and I would positively effect enough people that would care to come reminisce about me as well as catch up with news about each other’s lives. Hopefully more people are doing better in life for generations to come because I was here, then if I never existed. That would be a cool legacy.
rugratz2222 almost 15 years ago
Man had funeral for wife and pallbearers were taking coffin to cemetary when they hit the wall going out the church doors and heard a moan inside! Opening the coffin, found she was only in a coma, and recovered.
10 years later, new funeral and they were taking her coffin out again through the church front doors.
The husband cried out: “Watch out for that wall!” ———————- Man had funeral for wife, when suddenly the Devil popped up. Church goers went running and screaming in all directions but the man just sat there.
Devil said, “Aren’t you scared?”
Old man, “Nope. I married your sister. She should be there by now.”
Devil said, “Yes, she is. Why else do you think I came up here?” ——————– Man and wife were vacationing in Israel and she died one night. Funeral director told him it was $5000 USD to send her body back home to the USA, or $150 to bury her locally.
Man thought it over and said, “Ship her home.”
Funeral Director said, “But why spend so much when you can bury her here so cheaply?”
Man said, “Well, you had Someone else buried here and He rose after 3 days. I just cannot take that chance.”
pbarnrob almost 15 years ago
We went, (just after Christmas), to a wake for an old local artist, heckuva nice guy, who expected to attend, but as it turned out, was already too ill to make it. The flyer said “Your last chance to have a free drink on Dave Spurlin”.
Several joined me in hoping we could have enough warning to do something similar - and be able to attend and say ‘So long’ to friends.
Varnes almost 15 years ago
My Uncle Art , when he was a pall bearer, would rap his knuckles on the side of the coffin, so the people on the other side would think it was coming from inside…
ronaldmuny, great idea on the fire works. I think I’m gonna request that for me!
Emerson wrote the word Nature with a capital N. That’s about the way I see it. The native American idea of the great spirit seems to fit. But, what ever it is, comes from within, it is a part of us and we of it. That’s my take on it.Do I believe it? No. You can’t believe anything until it is proven to you. But I guess I do kind of accept it on faith.
POPPA1956 almost 15 years ago
What happens when a Jehovah’s Witness becomes agnostic?
He knocks on your door, but isn’t sure why.
bmonk almost 15 years ago
Digital Frog said, about 9 hours ago
“Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He was up all night contemplating the existence of dog…”
Then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper. He sold his soul to Santa.
Varnes almost 15 years ago
Oh, man, I sold my soul to Santa when I was three…..
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
freeholder1
I am comfortable with the title of Agnostic (not my life). To me it does not matter what anyone’s belief system is because as far as I am concerned they could all be right. It is how you choose to use the belief system that is important.
I do not think anyone is constantly at peace with themselves or the world in general. Just that it is something we work towards in order to be happy.
I really do not believe that it is all about me. If I did, it would be so much easier. I attempt to make a positive difference because I do not want those I love to have to endure what I have (and also because I feel better about myself when I am able to help someone or make them smile).
Does that help clarify what I was saying?
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
exoticdoc2 - Atheists are covered under my beliefs also, it covers all people who try to be good people.
(LuvH8 sticks out tongue and blows a raspberry!)
shallowphil almost 15 years ago
Mr Hope, when you pass away, do you wish to be buried or cremated?
Bob: surprise me.
cutiepie29 almost 15 years ago
commerce1943, you make me laugh! Thank you for that.
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
freeholder1 - Thank you for your concern.
S_T_F_U almost 15 years ago
@ commerce1943… LOL !!!
Ooops! Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Bunnyface - Santa is one of my heros!! Well………sort of…..I didn’t really like him in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer……..but he did admit to his mistakes in ‘The Year Without A Santa Claus”……..He has kind of gone too commercial.
Okay I like the idea of Santa Claus. (Can ideas purchases souls?)
lisagrinning almost 15 years ago
I love the comic and I love reading these comments. Fun!