Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 09, 2022

I was expecting a Wiley Bear. Come to think of it, I’d rather face a Wiley bear.

“evaluation” is one thing, therapy is another

Cheaper than a lab test.

Or, if you’re on a plane, you could try looking for Mike Tyson and see what happens if you harass him long enough.

Apparently, it hasn’t occurred to the guy in the alleyway that nowadays you just don’t know who’s conceal carrying.

Testosterone is overrated by the folks who are over-testosteroned. The rest of us (nearly all the women and a significant fraction of men) realize that it’s mainly about risky behavior. I tend to avoid such behavior, don’t you? Note that children and teens don’t have to have testosterone to engage in that kind of behavior. They just feel immortal and act on it.

The new sign at the entrance to all tanning salons.

Many, many years ago, my uncle ran into someone who told him that you weren’t considered a man until you had spent time in prison!!!

Ding!

is the feminine version known as “Bow-Tox”?!?

Well, I’m 75 and have lost some head hair. I understand that losing hair is a sign of an increased testosterone level – just when I DON’T need it!!

Let’s see if _ucker Carlson would go there.

What did boxer boy do to our bears?

I thought it was the Wiley bears who did things like this…

This could be a new career for someone like Jose Canseco or Danny Bonaduce or any of those D-list guys who did the celebrity boxing thing back in the 2000s. Heck Iron Mike can do it as a hobby to compliment his thriving dispensary business.

That’s too much trouble. Can’t we just identify as manly?

I had my testosterone tested and got paid for it. …Boot Camp.

if he came out of the bar, will he soon be punch drunk?

Standing in an alley with boxing gloves on is an excellent way to get your lead supplement.

Save yourself some embarrassment, Bud. I am guessing from your age and apparent physical condition, you are about due for one of those handy little operations, which will typically remove both your potential cancer problem and your testosterone problem in one snip.

Better just go into the bar and have one for the road, because it’s soon gonna take a sharp curve.

Could’ve sworn there was a “Manly Man” Monty Python skit…

Business must be slow, there is no blood on his gloves

Looks like he could get more than his nuts tanned.

I’ve wondered what Uwe Boll has been up to since he retired.

I’m sure he’s imagining something in a skirt.

Don’l go in the alley!

If you think you need to take the evaluation, it’s already too late for you.

A former girlfriend had a little gag she’d play while in a small group of men and women. She’d lean over to a couple of the other women and whisper “Wanna see me make all those guys drop their voices by half an octave?” She’d get some quizzical looks, but nobody ever turned her down. So then she’d say in a loud voice “Are there any manly men in this crowd?”, and immediately, in voices half an octave lower than usual, she’d invariably get more than one “Why, yes, I am a manly man!”

I went into Army Basic Training timid and uncertain (not manly).

After a year in combat in Vietnam, 1968, coming home I have encountered men larger and ‘more manly’ than I, but when confronted they back down. Must have something to do with the look in my eyes.

After all the steroids, the boxer’s parts may not be a fair comparison.

GoComics needs to add Bizarro, Rhymes with Orange, Far Side, and Carpe Diem so I can post without the fear of spammers.

OK son, you’re big and tough now. You’ve become a MAN. Now comes the tougher lesson: becoming a GROWN-UP ADULT (or, time to become a ‘man’ from the neck up).

The bears are taking Mother’s Day weekend off.

DON’T DO IT!!!!!