Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for July 30, 2016

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    orinoco womble  over 8 years ago

    Today’s helicopter germophobe parents probably wouldn’t allow kids to use Silly Putty because you squish it up against anything and everything.

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    Toonerific  over 8 years ago

    There’s even a worm-hole included! Now that’s exciting.

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    Rwill  over 8 years ago

    Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Soily Putty.

    Soily Putty contains a worm core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

    Do not use Soily Putty on concrete.

    Discontinue use of Soily Putty if any of the following occurs:

    itchingvertigodizzinesstingling in extremitiesloss of balance or coordinationslurred speechtemporary blindnessprofuse sweating or heart palpitations.

    If Soily Putty begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

    Soily Putty may stick to certain types of skin.

    When not in use, Soily Putty should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Soily Putty of any and all liability.

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  4. Hobo
    MeGoNow Premium Member over 8 years ago

    Soily Putty! .Provides a generous supply of soil microbes, bird poop, worm castings, five molds and 27 different pollens. Builds strong immune systems 12 ways! .Or, you could just send your kid outside to play and not spend hundreds of hours of your life in the allergist’s office, as well as allowing your kid to venture from the house without an inhaler.

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    neverenoughgold  over 8 years ago

    Could I just have some Flubber?

    I have an old Model T needing a recharge…

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    Peam Premium Member over 8 years ago

    That’s just regular used Silly Putty repackaged! About 3 days should do it, I reckon.

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    neverenoughgold  over 8 years ago

    Was your mind absent when you drew this up, Professor Brainard?

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