Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 29, 2022

Maybe, Rat should go swimming.

The theme from Jaws: Bayyy-con . . . bayyy-con . . . bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon . . .

I like Pig’s swim trunks.

Pig, you can swim with the pigs in the Bahamas!

And it’s downright DANGEROUS to drive over there, too.

Pig in a blanket

Sometimes the news will mention a dead giant squid washing up on the beach and I’ll wonder “What would happen if I was in the water when that happened? Even a dead giant squid would freak me out.”

That’s what Roseanne Roseannandana used to say

Pig never wears pants. Why would he need to wear swim trunks?

Statistics can ruin anything you try.

Pastis forgot to fill in color between Rat’s legs.

How many die in bed every year?

I was snorkeling last week in Guam and a 5 ft shark swam past me and paid me no mind.

fewer.

The drive to the beach will getcha first.

A bigger problem than sharks is that it’s April.

Last frame reminds of that movie, "Beach, Blanket, Bingo.

if you live in fear, you will never enjoy life

Pigs are naturally great swimmers, so he could avoid a shark if necessary.

“You’re 13 times more likely to die while taking a selfie than a shark attack.” is a lot scarier than the odds of getting killed by a shark are 0.000026% (which makes dying by selfie 0.000346%.) They do that crap all the time with coffee / wine / food of choice. “Scientists have shown a cup of coffee a day doubles your chances of contracting <>” when you have a 1 in a million chance of getting that disease in the first place.

Fewer than, not less than.

Rat is such a downer….scaring Pig of drownings

back to eating cheese in bed, I guess…

Indeed. it is always something.

I once got fished out of the Atlantic by the lifeguard crew. Never went in above my knees after that.

No need to fear sharks. Now if you see a vending machine out there on the water, then run, or swim, for your life.

Nah, it’s the jellyfish you need to worry about.

Just ignore Rat and go ahead and go to the beach, Pig.

Sharks prefer beef over pork.

Go to the beach Pig!!!

Roseanne Rosannadana

There’s a great Sandra Boynton kids song called “Pig Island.” It’s a Caribbean-style song sung by Scott Bakula on her album PHILADELPHIA CHICKENS. Piggies have their own special island to chill out on. I’m a huge fan of Boynton whose lyrics and music are so dang clever and fun. I call her the Cole Porter of children’s music.

Another Rat trap to get pork.

No. 3 (Falling out of bed) of things that kill more people than sharks – Surprising? Maybe. Scary? Yes. About 450 people die annually by falling out of bed, usually from head and neck injuries.

Better look before you slide out of bed. Rat may have placed a meat grinder against your bed to catch you for sausage.

Have no fear. Death is always near…..

Nobody pointed out that the sharks should be more afraid of humans than vice versa.

The average person in the U.S. has about a 1 in 126.85 million chance of death by a vending machine. More likely than winning the lottery!

Next time, Pig, make sure to go to beach or anywhere else fun before Rat wakes up. Any morning after he’d been getting drunk would work.

Staying in bed is Good, Pig. Don’t try to overthink it….

Swim in a lake! No sharks! Just leeches and snapping turtles.