Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 30, 2023

Never invite a cyclist. Period.

Rat should be thankful that Jeff the Cyclist makes Rat look good.

Is Stephen Pastis JEALOUS of cyclists or something?! He NEVER gives them any good qualities whatsoever!!!! Dan aka…

Pig, I think he toasted himself with a kale smoothie.

What? It new year already? Me is never knews.

There is always someone who ruins the party.

Well i just figure he likes to rag on 20th c. leisure class fitness yuppie narcissism.Then again, sometimes it seems like he.. no.. I dunno. Right now I just find it kind of amusing. I think S. does his fair share of ragging on reactionary capitalist b.s. too, so I’m ok with it.

C’mon, everybody — Stephan and Jef are friends. The only reason Steph doesn’t appear in Frazz is format issues — and he sorta did once. (Can anyone find the date?) I promise you they don’t hate each other.

It takes all kinds, fellas!

Hey guys, buy e-bikes and show him up!

Big Wheels keep a-turnin’!!

The secret is all in the hips.

I’m sure these people exist; I have never met one.

Good thing for him nobody had a gun!

Read the article on the December 18th issue of the Babylon Bee, about legalizing running over cyclists

Never wish for a better new year. It’s bad luck. My mom wished for a better year and then came the pandemic.

I guess the cyclist is an old acquaintance they wish they forgot…

Nice to hear about the friendship between Pastis and Mallett. I didn’t know.

If a cyclist is vegan and does crossfit, what does he brag about first?

Atta boy Jef!

Probably a chia seed and kale smoothie. The horror.

Take your thighs and stuff them up your nose with a rubber hose.

A number of years ago, here in my county in Western PA we had a “Jef the cyclist”. He had been cited numerous times for blocking traffic, harassing drivers and just being a general P.I.A. dating back to 2012. He caused so many traffic problems on a bad stretch of major highway that he was finally jailed and banned from riding a bike in this ://archive.triblive.Com/local/westmoreland/hempfield-cyclists-conviction-for-careless-driving-upheld/

Kale smoothie! MMMMMmmmmmmm!

Riddle The Count This: If Jef the Cyclist rides his tricycle home using the same route he used to get there, is he recycling? Enquiring minds want to know.

I ride a bike daily, definitely not a cyclist.

And they seem to be very proud of their intestinal gasses, sharing it all with the world at any time they so choose to do so. They seem to have that in common with biker gang guys and female athletes. Also librarians and Verizon store employees. Plus 7-Eleven workers and firemen. Not to mention…

Nailed it. Clowns on bikes. Annoying road hogs.

At Jeff’s party, it’s always BYK.

Jef represents the worst (& most noticeable) 5% of people who ride bicycles. When I ride, usually on a bicycle/walking/jogging trail, they are the ones who pass pedestrians, dog-walkers, & others on bicycles at high speed saying, “On your left” about one second before the miss you by inches. On streets, this same 5% run stop signs & lights, pass cars on the right, change lanes at will and move to sidewalks when they want. We are not all like that, but no one notices the 95%.

Thank you Steph, I needed a good laugh. Kale smoothie.

The one bright side is that there’s a chance the Kale has e-coli.

I’m wondering if Mr. Pastis has been verbally bullied by cyclists in the past? They seem to occupy a space in his bag of grudges similar to Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriends.

Jef…..

Suggested New Year’s Resolution for the ‘Pearls’ gang: Don’t invite Jef the cyclist or other overly self righteous people to your gatherings in 2024. Of course that means no inviting Rat either. Sounds like a Happy New Year already

Orange peel is also a must.

Always nice to see Jef!

Thankfully not all people who put effort into maintaining good health, are like this guy.

There is nothing “smooth” about kale, the “barbed-wire of vegetables”.

Here’s to 2024! Let’s hope it’s a good year.

Happy New Year!

I found Kale to be much more satisfying when I learned the “K” is silent.

C’mon, let the man have his thighs. Potentially a fair trade-off against a dim intelligence.

I love cycling AND driving my auto. Each at the appropriate time and in the proper attire – with a tire?

Cyclists have good Qualities?? Failing to stop at stop signs, riding onto the sidewalk, avoiding stopping for red lights, taking a full lane, and failing to signal turns. look I was walking my dog through an intersection and a cyclist almost hit me as he flew through the stop sign and continued down the street to go through the red light. Rules of the road are for all, including Cyclists.

The first panel is a rare prodigy, I think: Rat, Pig, and Goat all united in unironic optimism.

The cyclist will be in good shape when gas goes up to $8.00 a gallon some day.

And he’s no ordinary cyclist. Look at the thunder thingy on his uniform…it reminds me of a loquacious superhero in DC Comics. :D

I am strictly against the death penalty, but I would make an exception for douchbags.

He’s no cyclist. A real cyclist would be utterly unaware that there’s anyone else in the room.

In the strip the cyclist stands for a character who’s arrogant and self-centered. Question: why did Pastis use a cyclist for this type of person? Because cyclists oftentimes behave this way. Are there other dudes who behave likewise? Of course. Happy New Year.

The real thing to think about is why is there a thing like a „kale smoothie“ ?!?

I just know he has perpetual B.O.

Hooray to all Cyclists!

Kale smoothie…with a steroid chaser…

Jef the Cyclist is Cartoon-Boy’s favorite bête noire and reliable Party Pooper!

Where’s Zebra?! Seems like we almost never see him anymore. : (

Oh,I hate t his guy. Was he created before or after the Lance Armstrong scandal?

It’s been my experience that it’s vegans who ruin a party. Especially the militant ones.