Pickles by Brian Crane for January 13, 2023

Best thing you can do to shrooms. Burn them to a crisp. Then pitch them in the trash.

burning soup is challenging enough – but to actually set it afire is nothing short of amazing

that Earl’s one remarkable fella

It was probably the inch layer of brandy on the top that caught.

Did he get high smelling burning mushrooms?

Not cool, Nelson, when your grandparents’ house burns to the ground.

Our dog goes crazy when we’re cooking and the smoke detector goes off.

Did it make a mushroom cloud?!

Actually it was a can of mushroom soup and it exploded all over the house. Super cool!

Earl must have been a government patronage worker, unskilled in anything but getting out the votes.

“caught a” or “set a”?

Homemade taste – It’s in there!

AYE burn them and that’s it

Now that’s talent… or, something. Do you put out the fire first, mute ALL the alarms, or duck out the back door as fast as possible? He’d need some clear air to concoct a way to blame the dog.

I can’t cook. I like to say that I had to get married or starve. For some reason, women love it when I say that, so I say it a lot.

We know that Earl always cooks his own goose.

Magic mushroom soup? That could explain many things in this household.

There are men chefs/cooks and I think it must be very good to have them as a partner/husband.

allen@home must be one of them city folk who never got to enjoy the food that nature provides and depends on what the grocery store has 8)

It is bad when your cooking sets off the neighbor’s smoke detector.

Weaponized incompetence.

Who eats mushroom soup? Why would they? Bits of mushies, floating in wallpaper paste.

I like mushies, I don’t put ’em in a soup. Ugh.

My oldest grandson became quite an accomplished chef because my daughter took after her mother and could set the smoke alarms off just by boiling water.

One of my stepsons and his two boys are all very adept in the kitchen, while the other stepson in his kids would starve to death if my daughter-in-law wasn’t there to cook for them!

I know people with a McDonald’s subscription service.

Noooo……….. NOT cool..!!!!!

I understand this one. I don’t cook, either. i did try to boil water once, but I burned it!

My dad melted an empty pan on a lit burner. He had to use a metal file to separate the pan from the burner. I think it was his way of getting out of cooking. It worked.

I miss my own cooking. My wife won’t let me in the kitchen since we remodeled it. I might leave a fingerprint on one of the stainless steel appliances.

My mother-in-law once put a canned ham in the oven…unopened. When we returned from church the oven door was open and little bits of ham were EVERYWHERE. We had KFC for dinner.

They must have been (ahem) magic mushrooms.

Cooking is a good thing to learn. Both my wife and I cook and bake and all of our kids, boys and girls can cook and bake. They can also work on cars, cut grass, change oil, use a computer, balance a checkbook, change an electrical plug, wash clothes, and sew. They are self-sufficient, caring and loving kids. Not a lot of those around from what I see on the news.

Lots of men can cook and then there’s the ones who don’t WANT to learn to cook‼️

Earl’s evil plan WORKED! BWA HA HA HA!!

Smoking mushrooms is a thing in Earls past.. turning them into soup first.. gotta give him credit for trying something new. Probably would have worked but for those dang smoke alarms calling the fire department.

Sounds like something I would do. My wife tells me I can burn water

“Can I try it? I mean, MAY I try it???”

A friend who is getting on in years pointed out that because his wife does all the cooking, he will be in difficulty if she becomes ill or dies before he does. Earl might give that some thought and at least master the microwave.

He should have opened the can first.

A certain relation of mine is the only person I know who has set off a smoke alarm while cooking oatmeal. Chemistry professor…

I bet someone who burns water could show him up! ;-p

a Couple of weeks ago my male neighbor was cooking something and his smoke detector started going crazy for quite a bit and it smelled like burnt plastic in my apartment and then about 15 minutes later we had about 4 fire trucks and 3 cop cars pull into our parking lot looking for a fire and smoke coming from our roof but there was none . Here the Family Dollar across the sreet saw smoke and called fire department but the smoke was from him setting whatever he burned outside to throw snow or something on it to stop the fire and the smoke billowed up over the roof. My apartment smelled like burnt plastic for a couple of hours and gave me a headache and upset stomach, no it wasn’t carbon monozide because I have a monitor for that and it never went off, it was just the horrible smell coming through the thin walls.

When I was much younger my grampa and his brother taught me how to cook. Uncle Alex had served on, or is it in?, a submarine during WWII as a torpedo man, but he was friends with the cook and spent a lot of his off duty time in the galley “learning’ stuff.” They taught me how to properly cook meat, “Grill it”, do wondrous things with potatoes “twice baked and loaded to the gunwales,” and other stuff. “Get a D[redacted]n good knife and guard it with your life.” To quote the both of them when I asked “Why do I have to learn to cook?” “Cooks never starve!!!!” Grampa left me his knife, his cast iron skillets, and the rest of his kitchen stuff when he passed. Some of that has to be more than 100 years old by now. Cooking BACON tomorrow morning in one of them. “The best bacon starts cold outta the fridge and into a cold pan.” “And don’t forget to save the grease for the war.” I did make a few additions, Japanese chisel cut knives and cleavers. And a Hobart/Kitchen Aid K5-A.