Pickles by Brian Crane for February 15, 2023

Earl didn’t that microwave come with a instructions book with some recipes in it ? Or did you throw it away and not even look at it.

oh, that’s useful, Clyde

“Give me the maximum-strength. Give me the maximum allowable human dosage. Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit.” -Jerry Seinfeld

This is also how they find out the weight limit for bridges.

My ex-wife once put a hot dog in the microwave, at a friends house, for eleven minutes! Another time she set a crock pot on the stove and turned on the burner she had set the crock pot on! Tru, but scary, stories!

I set the microwave on half what I think it will take to heat or cook the food. If it not to my liking, I heat a bit more until it is to my liking. To reheat most veggies they are set for 30 seconds.

Our μwave has presets for a couple dozen items. All printed in the 1-inch space above the ceiling of the cavity and behind the door. In print that’s a little less easy to read than the instructions on a pill bottle. A small  pill bottle.

Most of us now use the Internet or UTube for cooking instructions.

Cut a few slices in the potato, wrap it with a soaking paper towel or a soaking cloth!

microwave on high ten minutes for an average size potato.

adjust for smaller or larger ones!

Some wonder why men don’t live as long as women. Here is a clue.

Sadly, guilty as charged.

I saw how microwaves were misused where I worked, all men. Management removed the microwaves it had provided because they became ENCRUSTED with exploded food time after time. Some men just did not CARE. They didn’t bother even to cover their plates with paper towels. Their wives always cleaned up after them at home, and darned if they would do “women’s work” at their job, either.

Just google it, Earl!

Practice makes perfect!

Works with eggs too!

Not a good idea Earl. Ask Opal how to do these things. If you leave her yet another mess in the microwave she may chop you up into little pieces and cook you in there!

Try it for a couple of minutes. Test it (with a fork) to see if it’s done.

Try it another minute. Test it again. Repeat as necessary.

In our microwave, 3 minutes is enough for a relatively small potato, 5 minutes is enough for a relatively large potato.

Eh, potatoes don’t always “bake” all that well in the microwave. Especially the really good-sized ones. Better off baking them the old-fashioned way. I know it takes a good two hours, but they turn out much better.

Had a brother in law do almost the same. Put potatoes in, set it for twenty minutes. Blew up, totaled the micorwave.

Earl! Poke holes in the potato with a fork, and nuke it for 6 minutes, covered by a ceramic bowl.

Gracie Allen’s way to time a roast: “I’d put in a big roast with a small roast and when the small roast was burnt, the big one was done.”

I’m guessing it works with μwave potatoes too. Substitue “explode” for “burnt”.

Now he is a " Friend in deed " : )

Old people are morons?

We have an insulated potato pouch – 4 minutes is all it takes and they never explode.

That’s okay. Opal needs a new microwave anyways.

I was expecting nods to Bill Watterson. The dad’s response to Calvin’s question about how they know the load limit on bridges.

Did he learn NOTHING from the egg fiasco..?????

In the early days of microwaves, a friend of mine (yes, it’s not me!, honest!) put a whole egg in the microwave. When it exploded, it literally blow the door off its hinges.

Science!

about 8 minutes

Google it.

Gracie Allen’s Classic Roast Beef Recipe: Ingredients: 1 large Roast of beef,1 small Roast of beef. Instructions: Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.When the little one burns, the big one is done

This is a great joke—and check out how “Calvin and Hobbes” handled the same idea. Go to the December 15, 2021 “Calvin and Hobbes” for another twist on the same joke.

Trial and error

I cook both sweet and white potatoes in my microwave and I’ve never had one explode yet. Wrap them in paper towels and turn them over after a couple of minutes. Bigger ones take longer, so you lightly squeeze them in the paper. When they are soft, they are done.

Throw a piece of fish in there Earl and get rid of your helpers! They did that at work, the break room cleared out!

Kinda like the method for determining the maximum load allowed on a bridge: drive increasingly-heavy trucks across it until it breaks, then back off the load number a couple hundred pounds and rebuild the bridge. I think I saw that first in “Baby Blues.” It’s amazing how much you can learn from comic strips!

Microwaved sweet potatoes don’t taste as good as ones baked in the oven.

Poke lots of holes in it first. It still won’t be as nice as one baked in a regular oven, though.

How about reading the instructions, guys?

Presumably, that’s how they developed the instructions/recipes for microwaves when they first came out.

From the school of “Try stuff.” If it reaches the point of “Hold my beer and watch this”… too far. Back off the fun, just a bit.

Is there a hidden camera in my kitchen

Is there a hidden camera in my kitchen

I always use a toaster oven for a single potato. How much of a hurry are you in, Earl?

That’s a good friend right there.

As several people have noted, microwave ‘baked’ potatoes are somewhat lacking in quality. But what I find handy is using the microwave to give potatoes a head start when baking. When I suddenly realize it 4:30, not 3:30 and I haven’t started supper yet, I’ll nuke the potatoes for about half the time my microwave’s instruction book suggest (while preheating the oven) and then toss the ’taters i the oven to finish. They are nearly as good as baking totally in the oven and supper will be more or less on time.

My microwave has a setting that says “potato”. I turned it on, but there was still no potato in it when I opened it.

Newer microwaves have a button for potatoes, so you don’t have to wonder.

At first I was a little upset with this comic as it shows men in a bad light. When I was married I did little to no cooking. Once I got divorced I lived on fast food for awhile, but then I decided I had to learn to cook if I wanted healthy food to eat. Now I’m a good cook and when I want to impress a gal I invite her to my place for dinner and a movie.

They never explode badly but open up nicely.

(Chestnuts, on the other hand….I prefer to cut an X on them to reduce explosions.)

First thing my ex learned to cook when we got a microwave in about 1982. That, and how to heat water. When he’d get in after 9 pm, he’d stab a potato a few times, put it in for 7 minutes and leave the mess for me to clean up the next morning when I was up early feeding the baby. No potato button until years later.

I own a Potato Express. It works pretty well!

For all we know, Earl might have invented the microwave oven!

Sage wisdom from the peanut gallery. Best results come from sticking it with a fork on both ends and around six minutes.

Leave potato in too long dry up from being left in too long for cooking.

Wash potato, put lots and lots of holes in potatoes. Wrap in paper towel, drench. Find the potato setting on the microwave, hit it to say 2. Once done, let let for about 5 minutes and ready to fix however you want to eat it.

I’d say this is a stereotype, but last night my retired husband somehow reprogrammed the thermostat while trying to turn it down before bed.

I noticed is was warm in the house and it was set to 82 degrees. When I tried to change it, I found he had somehow reset the programming and it took me a hour to change it back.

New term to replace old one: replace “Trial and Error” with “Trial and Earl”

Off topic, I’m tired of Colbert saying “Is potato.” Hilarious, the first 100 times.

Most microwave ovens have preset buttons for things like; popcorn, beverage, & potato. All he needs to do is press the ‘potato’ button. It’ll ask if it’s large or small and cook accordingly. If it’s still too hard when if finishes, then you nuke it for 30 second bursts until tender.

The great comedienne Gracie Allen, of Burns and Allen fame, said that to perfectly cook a 5 pound roast, she put it in the oven with a 2 pound roast, and when the 2 pound roast was burnt, the 5 pound one was done.

Still laughing about this one a week later. Well done Mr. Crane.