Recent Comments

1. 3 days ago on Overboard

   April, come she will

   When streams are ripe and swelled with rain

   May, she will stay

   Resting in my arms again

   June, she’ll change her tune

   In restless walks she’ll prowl the Night

   July, she will fly

   And give no warning to her flight

   August, die she must

   The autumn winds blow chilly and cold

   September, I remember

   A love once new has now grown old.

   April Come She Will,

   Lyrics by Simon and Garfunkel

2. 9 days ago on Arlo and Janis

   Show me! A few miles West in Texas, parade goers ask “Show me your boots”, as many float riders are wearing cowboy boots under their gowns.

3. 10 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   A number of folks on Charley’s Joke House have expressed interest in your joining us.

4. 24 days ago on The Born Loser

   I’d have the QB fitted for a new helmet. He seems to have had his bell rung at least once too often.

5. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   Mike, if wishing and praying for improved health for you got immediate results, you’d be out in a sunny field tip-toeing through the tulips. Unfortunately, the Healing Department is inadequately staffed, so you will have to wait an unknown period of time for results.

   I don’t know if this is valid or not, but I have always believed that good sleep has healing properties. In that case, perhaps the sleep you started getting within the last week can be parlayed into something good. But secure yourself to any chairs you’re going to fall asleep in so you don’t hurt yourself again. If I fell asleep on the porcelain throne and fell off, I am pretty sure I would re-break my leg in the same place. And believe me, I have experienced enough pain to curse, although not in the past 4 weeks.

   Best wishes and prayers for your rapid recovery.

   Charlie.

6. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   My broken leg. Saturday before Thanksgiving I was walking my dog Hank (my 3rd dog) and stopped to chat with a neighbor. When I changed my focus from Hank to my neighbor, a 10 year old kid came down the street on a skateboard. Hank hates skateboards. Hank took off like a rocket, with me at the other end of the leash. I fell like a cut tree onto my left side, breaking the femur just below the ball of my hip. Bone on bone pain just laying there in the street. Any attempt at movement just made it worse. Like being loaded into an ambulance, moved from gurney to gurney, etc. Even IV Morphine only dropped the pain to a 6 out of 10 when I was at rest.

   But, let me interject here that it’s been over a month since that happened, and my current pain level is negligible. It sounds like your pain is continuing, and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that on an ongoing basis.Anyway, the worst pain came Thanksgiving Day. Petey, my 2nd dog, died, probably from Cancer (a bleeding nasal tumor). He was only 6 1/2 years old, and was just the sweetest boy.Hank has been given or loaned to my grandson, Tristan, and we’re down to just one dog, Darlin’.So I will be remembering you in my prayers. Get better soon. Best wishes for a Happy New Year.
7. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   Last attempt at painful humor:

   A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, “Doctor I’m hurting all over my body.”

   “That’s odd”, replied the doctor, “Show me what you mean”

   So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

   The doctor says, “You’re not a natural brunette are you?”

   “No I’m a blonde”, she replies.

   “I thought so…. your finger is broken.”, replies the doctor.

8. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   Here’s another:

   Just got back from the ER and I’d like to reassure you guys that I’ll be all right after a couple of days on pain relief.

   But I just thought I’d warn you that the Dyson ball cleaner is really misleadingly named.

9. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   2 hours earlier…

   “Hey, are you going on a date tonight?”

   “Yeah, but I’m a little worried. I haven’t dated in a while, so I might be a little rusty.”

   “Don’t overthink it man, what’s the worst that could happen?”

10. 25 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

    Mike – I’m very sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. I broke my leg a little over a month ago, but more about that later. Here’s a joke about emotional pain.

    A man and a woman are painfully flirtingThe restaurant was practically empty, save for them. The man and the woman sat in silence, each waiting for the other to begin.

    The man started.

    “H-Hi.” Oh god, I sound like an idiot.

    “…Hi.” My Voice! Please come out!

    “So…uh…um…do w-weather?” What is wrong with me!?

    “Yes, it’s not snowing…I mean yeah it’s sunny.” Why did I bring that up?? Who says that??

    Silence. Deader than the graveyard full of dead zombies.

    The man tried again.

    “Your dress looks nice. No, wait I mean…the dress AND you-” My stupid brain! Please work!

    “I don’t hate your tie!” Just say you like it you ridiculous fool! Stop overcomplicating things!

    The waiter came by.

    “Would you like something?”

    “Her!” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    The woman tried smiling, weakly, but accidentally knocked over her glass, ruining the moment.

    The man stood up and ran out of the room, knocking over the candles in the process, setting the woman’s dress on fire. She tripped into a pitcher full of oil and hid under the table in shame.

    The restaurant caught on fire and burned to the ground.

    The fire spread to the gas station nearby, which exploded, taking out the entire city block.

    The city block was unfortunately connected to the nuclear power plant, which, thinking that there was an attack, shut down the power grid, leaving the entire city without power.

    The military, seeing an entire city without power, wrongly assumed the cause was an EMP attack and counterattacked by launching their own EMPs towards rival countries.

    The rival countries, wrongly seeing the EMPs as nuclear weapons, retaliated in kind.

    And thus the world ended. Humanity was finished.

    2 hours earlier…

    Continued in next comment -