Recent Comments

1. about 15 hours ago on Betty

   His hands are not idle :D

2. 1 day ago on Wizard of Id

   If targeted ads were true, I’m overweight, bald, have a small one (you know what), and it’s not working. Lies! I’m not bald… I have a tall forehead… :D

3. 1 day ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Please!! Don’t tell me that god likes… Oh! God! :D

4. 1 day ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Another great classic! I knew it with a guy stuck on the roof during a flood. :D

5. 3 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   Exactly. It’s not a genie in a bottle. There’s an old joke about it. This guy is completely broke. Desperate, he goes to church and asks “Jesus! Please, help me. Make me win the lottery.” Nothing happens, so he goes back, standing right in front of the cross and asking again. Nothing happens. He goes back, this time on his knees begging with tears in his eyes “Please, Jesus, help me. Make me win the lottery.” Nothing happens. He goes back again, walking the whole aisle on his knees begging, out loud, “Please, Jesus, help me!” Nothing happens. This time, he completely loses it. He throws himself on the floor and drags his trembling bawling pathetic body all the way to the cross, screaming “Please, Jesus, help me!” All of a sudden, a ray of light comes from the sky and Jesus himself materializes right in front of him. He gets on his knees, raises his hands to Heaven, and says “Thank you, Jesus. You came to help me!” And Jesus says “No. I’m here to ask you to help ME! Go buy a F*****G TICKET!”

6. 3 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   That’s what he said. He’s thankful for the prayers and taking care of business.

7. 4 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   I wouldn’t worry. It doesn’t work anyway :D

8. 4 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   There was another god, Lactis, who… er… enjoyed a lot of time by himself… if you know what I mean… Dairy farmers all across the Roman Empire adopted him as their deity. It was supposed to be a joke, playing on the similarity between their activities, but it stuck eventually. Although it is said that there was a famous member of his cult in Israel, it was just a rumor. He never practiced the right ritual :D But it shows the extension of Lactis fame. So much so that Saturn, his grandad, ordered Jupiter to arrange a marriage for him, to protect the image of the pantheon. Jupiter selected Ceres because she was known to be very hard, very strict, she was a real disciplinarian. However, Ceres fell in love with Lactis and turned soft. Old scrolls telling the story ended up in the hands of a religious zealot running a sanitarium. He was a vegetarian and a healthy lifestyle fanatic. However, he was really really bad at Latin and thought the scrolls were a recipe book. And that’s how milk started to be used to soften hard cereals. :D (Source: a randomly connected network of bored brain cells screaming for caffeine.)

9. 5 days ago on Ripley's Believe It or Not

   Ironically, Ceres was named after the word for grain. So, the word cereal comes from the word for cereal! Go figure :D

10. 8 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

    The problem is not the inanimate object. The problem is us :D