Crypto is bad for secrecy, especially in a criminal setting. Once one member of the criminal network is Identified, the rest of the network gets much easier to identify because all transactions are viewable, and transaction analysis will help identify and convict partners in crime. Dollar bills are much more anonymous.
As a kid, I couldn’t ever figure out what grownups saw in “soap opera” strips like Mary Worth and Rex Morgan. Now that I’m a senior citizen, I’m still confused. Except when Calvin and Hobbes or Scary Gary brings on a realistically drawn character. Those strips always have good punch lines. I never liked soap operas, either, excepting Dark Shadows, with Jonathan Frid as the vampire. ALL of us kids liked that one.
We humans have something similar. It was written up in the story " The Modified Stationary Panic" by Patrick McManus It describes what the writer does when, as an avid outdoorsman, he gets lost in the woods (and it’s laugh-out-loud funny).
OK, no MILKYBONE for you, boy!