Recent Comments

1. 1 day ago on Crankshaft

   “HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR” -New York Post, April 15 1983

   Certainly better than anything Skippy here is going to come up with.

2. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   “Emily” looks more like a clothing store mannequin than an actual person. (Either that, or she’s completely blitzed out of her gourd. Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t blame her if that’s how she prepared to meet this dullard.)

3. 2 days ago on Crankshaft

   It would explain why she got her own name wrong in Monday’s strip. In fact, it makes so much sense, that it’s guaranteed not to be correct.

4. 10 days ago on Crankshaft

   They canned Funky Winkerbean and that didn’t stop ITS idiocy, so… nope, no end in sight.

   (Or did you just mean this particular “joke”? Actually, it’s probably the same answer either way.)

5. 10 days ago on Crankshaft

   “Mitchbox” is no worse a joke than the one that gave Mitch his name in the first place.

   (His dad’s name is Max. Mitch and Max. Like “mix and match”. GET IT? LAUGH DANG IT!)

6. 10 days ago on Crankshaft

   Like the Pizza Monster?

7. 17 days ago on Crankshaft

   For that matter, weren’t all the parents driving their kids to school instead of having them take the bus, save for that one kid? Did they all decide to make the kids take the bus again (for… reasons, I guess)? Although that wouldn’t explain why they no longer have enough drivers, since there were enough before that to cover all the students. Or did The Burnings in Westview (i.e., the Booksmellers fire that didn’t even damage the books) force all the Westviewians to migrate to Centerville? (Actually… that could have some merit. Yeah, these appear to be much younger children, but the Westview parents could have realized that, if they stayed in that town, their kids might eventually end up with Best Actress Academy Award Winner Les Moore as their teacher, and they decided moving towns was the better option. Plausible enough for a No-Prize, at least…)

8. 20 days ago on Crankshaft

   His real name is… Pizza Monster. He actually went to the trouble to have his name legally changed to “Pizza Monster”. (What it was before that, Tom ain’t sayin’. Probably because he doesn’t know, either.)

9. 20 days ago on Crankshaft

   Now pretend that, after their “ghost stories”, they engaged in a five-way orgy. The dialogue makes at least as much sense, probably more, that way.

   (Of course, then you have to imagine Mopey and the Pizza Monster… sorry, I think I just made myself sick…)

10. 22 days ago on Crankshaft

    I think the difference is Non Sequitor does do it EVERY Sunday; it’s actually created and then printed (in newspapers) in a vertical format (I believe it was done specifically for papers to fill up a vertical spot in their Sunday comics pages). Batiuk makes “vertical” strips to fit a horizontal space, and sends them to the syndicate that way, so they’d have to actually rotate the strip to present it vertically (which I believe they’re contractually disallowed from doing, at least in Batiuk’s case).

    (One of Batiuk’s old contracts – with King Features, probably – explicitly specified that the syndicate could make NO changes to his strips unless the material could get them in actual legal trouble; i.e., there was something libelous or whatever. Annoying readers obviously wouldn’t have fallen under that exception, so they wouldn’t have been able to alter the strip. And I can’t imagine Batiuk – or any creator, for that matter – after getting that in a contract once, would ever agree to have that control taken away.)

    As far as I can tell, this is fully on Batiuk. (Mostly for doing these inane strips in the first place.)