This is my bio. It describes my life.
Santa probably has a whole group of elves designated to watch Calvin.
Mom has finally figured out how to make food Calvin likes. Just gross him out as much as possible.
When you forget to bring something for show and tell.
Cue Miss Wormwood giving everyone playground time except Calvin.
Something that builds character.
I guess Ms. Wormwood and Mr. Spittle think $20 is too expensive to be Calvin’s pal.
Instant death builds character.
It can also be used as a target for throwing snowballs.
Calvin definitely did that on purpose.
Meanwhile Santa is watching all of this and hiring lawyers of his own.
Santa probably has a whole group of elves designated to watch Calvin.