Ah, OK! “Wipes” is the name of his friend — not “eyes.” That sounds like the winner here. This turned out to be an interesting thread. Thanks for the corrections!
You know, I think you’re right. Wipes isn’t “dad,” it’s “eyes.” That makes more sense. “My friend’s eyes had that.” Not sure how I botched that one, but it was late last night.
Cockney slang is tricky. Some of it is rhymes. So “Tom Hanks” is “thanks” and “baked bean” is “queen.”
“Bummer. My friend’s dad had that. National Health Service figured it out. It’s glaucoma, right? You should probably go to the doctor and have them check it out.”
Also FWIW — You’re not exactly displaying any of the first two concepts in your posts. I’ll end it with that, as I don’t like to engage in political arguments and am not intending to start here.
And that’s before they go into the sports bar…