Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for May 03, 2015

Transcript:

Breezy: Believe it or not, you have no broken bones, Rip... but your leg is pretty swollen... Rip Haywire: I'm so sore. This drafty camp isn't helping. Breezy: Maybe we could cuddle to keep warm? Rip Haywire: Can't... I (ka-gulp) swore off women. Breezy: Oh, I never meant it romantically... just for survival. Rip Haywire: Oh, well, that's different! Breezy: Yawn. Sun's up, Rip... how'd you sleep? Rip Haywire: I'm disgustingly injured in the middle of nowhere, and I had to sleep next to a beautiful woman, who I swore to myself I could not love! Great! This beat-up old cot must've been my sleep number. Breezy: I'll need to rub down your leg with warm water.. it will help bring the swelling down... Rip Haywire: That sounds dangerous, considering that I swore off women for life, as part of my new adventurer's code! Breezy: Rip, your leg's in worse shape than J.C. Penny! Is being able to walk part of the adventure's code? Cuz otherwise we'll be stuck in this romantic cabin for weeks! Rip Haywire: C-could you at least put on some sweatpants and hair curlers? Dress down a little! Breezy: Good news, Rip! I found a town just down the mountain! Maybe I can get medicine for your injuries there! Rip Haywire: A gallon of Jim Beam and a bag of leeches are the only medicine I need!