Pete Seeger once asked “Where have all the flowers gone?” Well, after the Summer Of Love (the one in the 60s, not the recent one in Seattle) many flowers migrated north. A story about them follows:
After the San Francisco hippies retired to Marin County and elsewhere, they started their families. The schools noticed that children starting to attend often had names such as “Beautiful Child,” “Moon Love,” “Morningsong,” and so on. So when a young boy showed up one morning with “Fruit Stand” pinned on his shirt, the teacher wasn’t surprised. Instead, she made an effort to make the young man feel welcome. “Would you like to draw with crayons, Fruit Stand?” he was asked. “How about a Graham cracker and milk, Fruit Stand?” and even, “It’s recess now, Fruit Stand. Wouldn’t you like to play with the other children?”
The little boy didn’t talk much, though. He got through his first day of school without any conversation or interaction with either student or teacher. At the close of the day, the teacher and her assistant shrugged inwardly, realizing that it sometimes takes awhile to reach a difficult student; they resolved to try harder the next day.
So they prepared to put Fruit Stand on the bus home, and looked on the back of his name tag to see where he was to get off the bus. When they turned the tag over, they saw just one word: Matthew.
Two cannibals were dining on a hippie. The wife said, “Honey, you aren’t even touching the vegetables I made with this. Give peas a chance.” He sighed. “Maybe if you put them in a blender I would. Imagine, whirled peas!”
Two guys are talking at a fancy rooftop bar. Clearly drunk out his mind, one guy says to the other, “Ya know…the air currents are sho shtrong up here (hic) you can float on ’em like water.”
Also wasted, the other guy says, “Ah, you’re crazy. You can’t do that! (Burp)”
The first guy says “S’true! Juss watch!”
So he stumbles over to the balcony rail, climbs up and steps off. Sure enough, he floats there off the edge of the building, dipping and rising like he is body surfing. After a few seconds, he grabs the rail and pulls himself back in.
The second guy says, “I gotta try that!”
So he climbs over the railing, steps off the side…and immediately plummets 30 stories to his death.
The bartender looks at the first guy and says, “Go*d*mn it, you are a mean drunk, Superman.”
Ok how does one get hooked up to the poop buying people and what does one need to eat to get $75 for each one? Come on now no shi**ing me, I’m so full of it i could be a politician.
So THAT’S why those FedEx delivery people are always running now days with clothes pins on their noses.
Take care, may excommunicated scat fetish priest Gregory “I’m Feeling Much Better About Things Now That I’m Being Paid” Crapord be with you, and gesundheit.
The number of offers the poop buying company receives will likely increase because of today’s R-BION. I wonder if they will reach their capacity for researching contributions from qualified people and have to decline such offers.
The father, thought for a moment and said, “you’re old enough to learn about this.” So they sit down and talk. About five minutes later, the son, visibly traumatized asks,
Then there’s the angry dude entering the bar. He yells out "I have a gun with a 10-cartridge magazine plus one in the chamber. Now who’s sleeping with my daughter?
A voice peeps up: You don’t have enough ammunition.
wheaters over 2 years ago
Please stop invading the comments section with your inanities.
eromlig over 2 years ago
Pete Seeger once asked “Where have all the flowers gone?” Well, after the Summer Of Love (the one in the 60s, not the recent one in Seattle) many flowers migrated north. A story about them follows:
After the San Francisco hippies retired to Marin County and elsewhere, they started their families. The schools noticed that children starting to attend often had names such as “Beautiful Child,” “Moon Love,” “Morningsong,” and so on. So when a young boy showed up one morning with “Fruit Stand” pinned on his shirt, the teacher wasn’t surprised. Instead, she made an effort to make the young man feel welcome. “Would you like to draw with crayons, Fruit Stand?” he was asked. “How about a Graham cracker and milk, Fruit Stand?” and even, “It’s recess now, Fruit Stand. Wouldn’t you like to play with the other children?”
The little boy didn’t talk much, though. He got through his first day of school without any conversation or interaction with either student or teacher. At the close of the day, the teacher and her assistant shrugged inwardly, realizing that it sometimes takes awhile to reach a difficult student; they resolved to try harder the next day.
So they prepared to put Fruit Stand on the bus home, and looked on the back of his name tag to see where he was to get off the bus. When they turned the tag over, they saw just one word: Matthew.
Caldonia over 2 years ago
Two cannibals were dining on a hippie. The wife said, “Honey, you aren’t even touching the vegetables I made with this. Give peas a chance.” He sighed. “Maybe if you put them in a blender I would. Imagine, whirled peas!”
Caldonia over 2 years ago
I would feel sorry for the fire ants on the bottom of the raft, but they’re fire ants.
ekke over 2 years ago
“Measured” and “approximately.” Nice juxtaposition.
ekke over 2 years ago
Yeah, why do I feel like my life has been as a bottom-level, underwater fire ant?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Surfing. Body surfing?
Two guys are talking at a fancy rooftop bar. Clearly drunk out his mind, one guy says to the other, “Ya know…the air currents are sho shtrong up here (hic) you can float on ’em like water.”
Also wasted, the other guy says, “Ah, you’re crazy. You can’t do that! (Burp)”
The first guy says “S’true! Juss watch!”
So he stumbles over to the balcony rail, climbs up and steps off. Sure enough, he floats there off the edge of the building, dipping and rising like he is body surfing. After a few seconds, he grabs the rail and pulls himself back in.
The second guy says, “I gotta try that!”
So he climbs over the railing, steps off the side…and immediately plummets 30 stories to his death.
The bartender looks at the first guy and says, “Go*d*mn it, you are a mean drunk, Superman.”
Until next time.
boniface22 over 2 years ago
Approximately 101 ft tall? That’s somewhat exact, approximately 100 ft tall would read better.
theincrediblebulk over 2 years ago
Ok how does one get hooked up to the poop buying people and what does one need to eat to get $75 for each one? Come on now no shi**ing me, I’m so full of it i could be a politician.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
So THAT’S why those FedEx delivery people are always running now days with clothes pins on their noses.
Take care, may excommunicated scat fetish priest Gregory “I’m Feeling Much Better About Things Now That I’m Being Paid” Crapord be with you, and gesundheit.
oakie817 over 2 years ago
$75 per poop?! i’m going to be filthy rich!!
Jogger2 over 2 years ago
The number of offers the poop buying company receives will likely increase because of today’s R-BION. I wonder if they will reach their capacity for researching contributions from qualified people and have to decline such offers.
FassEddie over 2 years ago
“Daddy, where does poo come from?”
The father, thought for a moment and said, “you’re old enough to learn about this.” So they sit down and talk. About five minutes later, the son, visibly traumatized asks,
“What about Eeyore and Piglet?”paranormal over 2 years ago
So he rode a rogue wave…
diegot over 2 years ago
So, I’ve literally am flushing money down the toilet?! This has got to stop.
poppacapsmokeblower over 2 years ago
Not many alternatives to riding it when a 101 foot wave catches you.
spaced man spliff over 2 years ago
Then there’s the angry dude entering the bar. He yells out "I have a gun with a 10-cartridge magazine plus one in the chamber. Now who’s sleeping with my daughter?
A voice peeps up: You don’t have enough ammunition.
Running Buffalo Premium Member over 2 years ago
https://goodnatureprogram.com/