Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for January 20, 2021

Got him micro-chipped.

They have psychological aps now?

In Shakespeare’s day, “wherefore” didn’t mean “where”. It meant “why”. “WHY are you a Romeo [Montague, and not anyone else I could date without getting into a feud?]”

Ancestry.com?

Turn on “Find My Montague” ?

And all these years I thought ‘wherefore’ meant ‘why’. How gullible!

They have an app for the Montague family tree?

And by the way, “We don’t have to talk. We can just text each other.”

This will not end well.

They got married, and went on to live in a little hamlet.

Whenever a girl says “It’s fine.” you know you’re in trouble. Then she says “I got an app that shows me exactly wherefore thou art >[comma]< Romeo.”

Between genealogy and social media, she now knows that Romeo and all his kin really are a bunch of inbred dirt-bags. She’s also got Tinder, Plenty of Fish and a few other options to follow up.

Whew! She dodged that poison.

For the last time (who am I kidding?), wherefore does not mean where. It means why.

Methinks I can see thee now, thou art so low.

True drama!

Swipe left.

And the old high school answer to the question: “Down here in the bushes – the vine broke!”

Get used to it, Bub.

“Put your glasses on, girl! I’m RIGHT! HERE!”