That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 18, 2021

“Lady, your nipple is exposed!”

The first Olympics fan with the first vuvuzela.

Not what he was expecting when she said she was real good at…

Yeah, she was pretty, but her habit of always blowing her own horn was a real turnoff.

She said it was because of her halitosis that she looked away but there was also a serious case of spittle too.

From the terrors that warfare will cause, / the shocked brain of the soldier withdraws. / From filth, pain and mud, / and wounds which gush blood, / and some actions which broke nature’s laws. /// His mind flees, if it can, to a place / filled with brightness and calmness and grace. / Where a vision is born / of a goddess and horn, / confirmation that he’s won the race. /// His spear, shield and helmet — pristine. / His flesh is intact, strong and clean. / Here is perfect rapport / and no flashbacks of war. / Not dead nor alive — in between. /// In true battle when enemies pounce / there is gore in horrific amounts. / But, instead this calm scene, / and he sits here serene / watching Nike his triumph announce.

Play “Melancholy Baby”.

Play “Free Bird”!

she leaves no doubt when she’s in a horny mood…

Wardrobe malfunction?

Achilles has arrived! He’s brought his lance/ Forgot his shield or helmet ? Not a chance!/And yet, there’s ought amiss/ and what’s amiss is this ../ Achilles has arrived without his pants./// What’s that you say ? It’s not an oversight?/ Achilles is too clever – far too bright?/ you underrate the man! It’s built into his plan – Achilles merely likes to travel light.

What happens when you’re too important to blow your own horn

Arg, the neighbors are drunk again!He forgot to put on his armor and is walking around naked, and she’s blowing that damned trumpet. If the cops don’t show up soon, the’re going to start fornicating in public again.

All the winged chariots unfortunately have a sign which says “no pants, no service”.

Manscaped?

When you’re finished blowing the trumpet could you…

In her lingerie, sexy yet elegant, / Nike (Victory) was in her element. / So the news really stings / that she must lose her wings. / Vickie’s secret? The Angels — irrelevant.

Needs more cowbell.

If you didn’t blow so hard, your dress might stay up.

NIKE: HANG ON! I’ll summon a medic.

ACHILLES: I’m fine! It’s shy but it’s still there.

NIKE: Well, I’ll summon a tailor then.

The lyrics to “Reveille” are “I can’t get ‘em up, I can’t get ‘em up, I can’t get em’ up in the morning,” but she tactfully chose the instrumental version.

O.K. kids, let’s see who’s first to find all the phallic symbols in this painting?

My own horn I reluctantly toot. / I, too, rock a superb birthday suit. / And I’d show more to you / but, forgive me, it’s true / that I’m partial to men more hirsute.

So, Anthony Weiner and Miley Cyrus went to a costume party,….

Victory: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Anne-Louis_Girodet-Trioson_-_Allegory_of_Victory,_1814.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this painting. File history has strip’s coloration image.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/girodet_de_roussy-trioson_anne-louis.html

https://www.wikiart.org/en/anne-louis-girodet

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=4525

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/44170854/anne-louis-girodet_de_roussy-trioson

https://www.wga.hu/bio_m/g/girodet/biograph.html

http://www.all-art.org/history372-7a.html

http://www.getty.edu/art/collection/artists/925/anne-louis-girodet-de-roucy-trioson-french-1767-1824/

https://www.askart.com/artist/AnneLouis_Girodet_De_RoucyTrioson/11160720/AnneLouis_Girodet_De_RoucyTrioson.aspx

https://theodora.com/encyclopedia/g/anne_louis_girodet_de_roussy.html

https://prabook.com/web/anne-louis.girodet/3728939

http://www.19thc-artworldwide.org/spring06/53-spring06/spring06review/164-girodet-1767-1824 

all have info (the 5th’s last sentence might elicit a chuckle, sadder in the 7th), or links that point to more info, about this artist (again if truncated, askart.com can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. So far, 2 works by him have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2018/09/25?comments=visible 

has the prior (my comment there included 7 of the artist info URLs, the 3rd of which may be unresponsive).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2730 (June 17, 2021) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

“You don’t need to toot your horn. Showing your breast will draw attention.”

The American Federation of Cheerleaders will never let USC get away with this.

There once was a man named Methuselah/ who was taken with Nike’s vuvuzela/ but sadly, so far/ he’s had but a shofar/ and he’s plangently playing the blueselah…

Here is a catchy tune for ya , htts//AaronChupa.to/Trombone

“They’re lined up at the gate. Go ahead and blow.”

Nothing wakes shorty quicker than a one eyed sneaky peeker in the mor-or-orning!

hey! darling, you don’t need to practice on that, I’ll give you the real thing.

They must have snow to go with that saucer thingy. :)

Winged Victory well knew her place. / She’d stay away from Samothrace. / The oracle spoke: / “Once there you’ll be broke, / disarmed and completely defaced.”

Boris was so fixated on Doris’s boob, even his shield grew a nipple.

Hmmm. I should talk to her without appearing too daft.

She doesn’t have it to her ear, so she isn’t hard of hearing.

It doesn’t have a bulb at the end, so she isn’t drinking.

She doesn’t seem to be swallowing it; besides, it isn’t a sword.

With the noise coming out of it, she can’t be a musician.

Aw well. “Hey lady! … Wassup!”

The nude soldier, she learned, was a douche. / His own name he wore in a cartouche. / He did not ask for hers, / (that’s what Nike avers). / So she gave him two kicks with a “swoosh”.

Oh quit wasting time blowing that horn!