The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for July 13, 2023

Brutus 1-Mother Gargle 0 and she has to wear a binocular to look that backward.

So add five years.. eight to get near the truth?

She was born on Feb. 29th?

She must have been in puberty when she had her daughter.

With her reaching 60 several years ago, I’d say “Happy anniversary!”

I’m looking forward to my sixtieth next month because I beat the odds making it this long most of those I grew up with are already gone.

Good drugs. As a thought, on my way into Ocala there is a drugstore named “Sunshine Drugs”. I dunno, it’s right behind the Sheriffs den. I love the name!

Diploma should be left to diplomats.

Good one Brutus.

She must have taken one of them eye of newt, tongue of bat recipes she makes in a caldron to reverse aging. Look on the bright side. In 59 years she’ll be gone.

Yay! Brutus gets in the last zinger! I’m certain he’ll pay for it later though.

I’m just the opposite of Mother Gargoyle. When people complain about their age I ask them how old do they think I am. I always reassure them they can’t insult me. Most guess in the mid 50s. They can’t believe it when I tell them my age. FYI, I just turned 69.

Zing! Good one, Brutus!

“I’d say you’ve already been around once and you’re about to lap yourself.”

Actually, I have no trouble seeing her as in her late 50’s. Perhaps being elderly will melow her out.

The old battle axe passed 60 without stopping!

so does that mean she’s actually six… I mean, act like six. ;)

She must dye her hair. Reminds me of when I noticed my grandmother’s pink foam hair rollers were all stained black.

Brutus gets his licks in today !

Being 60 with a 54 year old child is….odd.

I’d be facing backwards too, Brutus!

That must be one big rear view mirror for Mother Gargle to be viewing her 60th birthday.

Atta boy Brutus…..made her have an even more sour puss!!

MWA-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!! Brutus, I LOVE it!!

My 60th would require a time machine to get there. AND if they are going to all that trouble, may as well get me back to 30. As to grandma Gargoyle, no way anyone could think that she ’s on the sunny side of 60. Would mean she had Gladys at 10 or younger. Actually, l am very happy with the age l am now. It goes with my looks….

Considering she resembles the Wicked Witch of the West, she should say she’s 110 years old.

Sometimes Brutus gives as good as he gets. But really, did Mama think that Brutus either cares how old she is or thought he would assume she is younger than he might think?

Age Potion Number 9:

She bent down, turned around and gave me a stink.

She said “I’m gonna drink it up right in your face, fink!”

It smelled like turpentine and looked like India Ink.

I held my tum, I closed my eyes, my lunch on the brink!

I didn’t know if it was day or night.

I started crawling, gotta get out of sight!

But when I turned around in the midst of sickly shine,

The Gargoyle it had turned to stone! Age Potion Number Nine…

It was a 9 she flipped over…

L.O.L.!

Zing! Brutus channeled his inner Don Rickles on that hanging curveball!

My 60th is in 8 days! The body feels it…the mind doesn’t.

I’m sure she meant revisit. Some birthdays are just worth repeating.

“You don’t look a day over 80!”

If Mother Gargle is telling the truth then time has been treating her very badly, but I am sure Brutus is right about her position and he could add that she must have very good eyesight.

So her next birthday is in 231 days – i.e. 29th Feb 2024

Good one, Brutus.

So she gave birth to her daugther at age 2?

Her: I’m pushing sixty.Him: You’re not pushing it, you’re dragging it.

or

Her: I’m approaching sixty.Him: From which direction?