Never bathed a cat, but did have to dip them after moving into a house that had a dog with lots of fleas. Once the fleas were gone that was the end of forced getting wet.
This wasn’t the one I remembered reading, but it’s close:
How to Bathe a Cat
Step 1:
Find cat. This may seem a rather obvious initial step, but cats can be particularly resourceful at devising stealth tactics should they suspect a dunking is imminent. So check the stairs, behind the sofa, in the clothes dryer, up the chimney, in your neighbor’s sock drawer, Mars.
Step 2:
Place cat in sink/bath. At this point, suddenly realizing you’ve forgotten the cat shampoo bottle, fetch it and return.
Step 3:
Find cat and place in sink/bath, again.
Step 4:
Softly repeat comforting phrases like “good kitty,” but be aware that the sole purpose of such verbal reassurances is to build your self-confidence and resolve. They will have absolutely no pacifying effect on the animal.
Step 5:
Place cotton balls in cat’s ears. This is not to prevent water getting in, but to avoid further frightening the cat from your screams.
Step 6:
Turn on faucet, pouring water and shampoo over cat. Attempt to lather.
Step 7:
Remove cat from head and return hissing, scratching, wailing animal to sink/bath. Reach for towel to wipe soap and blood (yours) from face.
Step 8:
Find cat, again.
Step 9:
Slip on wet, soapy floor while attempting to replace enraged cat back in bath/sink.
Step 10:
After regaining consciousness, find cat again.
Step 11:
Return drenched, soapy, howling, cat to sink/bath. Lather, rinse, towel dry, and release.
Step 12:
Crawl to phone and call 911 to request assistance. While waiting for ambulance, disinfect any area where excrement may have been deposited; also check if the cat left any.
Step 13:
Relax for well-deserved New Year’s rest – while being carried out on stretcher.
stairsteppublishing about 10 hours ago
Never bathed a cat, but did have to dip them after moving into a house that had a dog with lots of fleas. Once the fleas were gone that was the end of forced getting wet.
sergioandrade Premium Member about 9 hours ago
To quote “How to live With a Calculating Cat” the hard part is keeping the blood off the clean cat.
Willi Nilli Premium Member about 8 hours ago
2 panels, 5 Gingers! She would be proud!
akachman Premium Member about 5 hours ago
Cats truly don’t need baths. Humans do. Cats are very clean and they don’t stink. A purr-fect pet.
fthiel about 3 hours ago
Right up there with giving a cat a pill.
ChessPirate about 2 hours ago
This wasn’t the one I remembered reading, but it’s close:
How to Bathe a Cat
Step 1:
Find cat. This may seem a rather obvious initial step, but cats can be particularly resourceful at devising stealth tactics should they suspect a dunking is imminent. So check the stairs, behind the sofa, in the clothes dryer, up the chimney, in your neighbor’s sock drawer, Mars.
Step 2:
Place cat in sink/bath. At this point, suddenly realizing you’ve forgotten the cat shampoo bottle, fetch it and return.
Step 3:
Find cat and place in sink/bath, again.
Step 4:
Softly repeat comforting phrases like “good kitty,” but be aware that the sole purpose of such verbal reassurances is to build your self-confidence and resolve. They will have absolutely no pacifying effect on the animal.
Step 5:
Place cotton balls in cat’s ears. This is not to prevent water getting in, but to avoid further frightening the cat from your screams.
Step 6:
Turn on faucet, pouring water and shampoo over cat. Attempt to lather.
Step 7:
Remove cat from head and return hissing, scratching, wailing animal to sink/bath. Reach for towel to wipe soap and blood (yours) from face.
Step 8:
Find cat, again.
Step 9:
Slip on wet, soapy floor while attempting to replace enraged cat back in bath/sink.
Step 10:
After regaining consciousness, find cat again.
Step 11:
Return drenched, soapy, howling, cat to sink/bath. Lather, rinse, towel dry, and release.
Step 12:
Crawl to phone and call 911 to request assistance. While waiting for ambulance, disinfect any area where excrement may have been deposited; also check if the cat left any.
Step 13:
Relax for well-deserved New Year’s rest – while being carried out on stretcher.