Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for April 14, 2001

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Reading "Fenimore" Man: What's Fenimore up to today? Let's see...comics...page B-12... Man: Ha-ha! He forgot where he buried his bone! Man: You've got to see his face -- he's like, "Huhr?" Classix Comix Not a substitute for reading the text or for classroom discussion of the text. The Rabbit Trataology by John Updike Male Rabbit: I'm leaving you. Female Rabbit: Oh yeah? I'm leaving you! Male Rabbit: Oh yeah? I'm b-- Female Rabbit: Oh yeah? I'm bored of you! Male Rabbit: Oh yeah? Ah, screw it. URK America Loves Mobsters! Old Man: I'm sorry I missed my payment! Mobster: Pay now, or baddabing! Fuhgeddaboudit! Old Man: You're just so adorable and fascinating! I can't stand it! The Mad Cow Man: What're you so mad about?! Cow: If you were fed the nerve and brain tissue of your slaughtered friends, you'd be mad too! Man: Oops! Did I put my foot in my mouth? Save $9.50! Movie In A Comic! Attractive Man: Be careful. Don't defy the audience's expectations! Attractive Female: String together vaguely familiar scenes in a slightly reshuffled plot. Attractive Male: We made it to the end with nothing original happening! Attractive Female: Hope I win an Oscar! Dot-Com Comics "I said pesto sauce! Ketchup is not an acceptable substitute, Mom!" Snippy Servant "Mr. Jenkins can't come to the phone. He's an ineffectual loser whose emotional inaccessibility has alienated his family." Yuks BUS STOP "The wind swept across the expanse of Harrison Boulevard, coaxing candy wrappers and paper bags to dance across Mason's lilting path. Helen was right, he thought, as he absently touched the loosely wrapped package in his coat pocket. In all the years he had known Helen, she had never more vehemently expressed her..." [continued next week]