Zack Hill by John Deering and John Newcombe for February 24, 2025

  1. Babysteps2
    mccollunsky  about 9 hours ago

    Guess you can’t turn her off and on again.

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  2. Twin commander 1000 ext
    MeanBob Premium Member about 8 hours ago

    Have you tried unplugging yourself and then, not plugging back in?

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  3. Missing large
    Stocky One  about 4 hours ago

    You should become an ice cream sales person!

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  4. Grumpy cat
    EMGULS79  about 2 hours ago

    Move to southern Arizona. You’ll never be frozen again.

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  5. 250
    ladykat Premium Member about 1 hour ago

    Sorry, Jan.

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  6. Pa231400
    Yakety Sax  2 minutes ago

    A Tribute To Tech Support

    I keep getting tickets from one user who receives an error as they attempt to do things before the program loads. This was a known issue if anyone had slower internet. Thankfully, we only need to open the program once a day; it does not time out.

    After the fifth or sixth ticket, I could not find a way for them to understand “wait for the program to load fully before attempting to use it.” While banging my head, I play with my phone and find the user on Facebook. I see they have multiple dogs and cats and proudly display them (as one should).

    I respond to the newest ticket.

    Me: “After opening the program, it’s recommended for users to pet each cat and dog in the home. Once all the good boys and good girls have received their tribute, continue back to the program. Please reach out if each needs two or three tributes so I can update our procedures.”

    I received a response the next day:

    User: “Why didn’t someone tell me this the first time? It worked after I petted my three cats once and my two dogs twice. I should not have to open so many tickets before the actual procedure is given to me!”

    Then they sent a complaint to my boss, who told them they would update the procedure promptly, which my boss did but added that if you do not have any pets, making a cup of tea/coffee would also work.

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  7. Pa231400
    Yakety Sax  1 minute ago

    Observational Skills Are A Staple In Tech Support

    I work in tech support. I get an irate call from a manager in one of our remote offices.

    Manager: “Our computer is making horrible screechy noises!”

    Me: “Is there an error code on the screen?”

    Manager: “I don’t know, maybe?”

    Me: “Well, if you could—”

    Manager: “That’s computer stuff! I don’t know anything about computers!”

    Me: “Okay, does the computer boot up— turn on?”

    Manager: “No, it’s just making horrible screechy noises!”

    Troubleshooting got me nowhere, so I drove to their remote location. Before I even walked into the office, I could hear the “horrible screechy noise,” and it wasn’t a continuous squeal; it was the rapid beep-beep-beep of a Dell motherboard keyboard error. Within seconds, I could see what the issue was.

    So, without saying a word, I walked into the office, took the stapler off the keyboard, cycled the power, and walked out.

    The manager in question — in most ways one of our best — tends to get cocky because he knows how good he is. But now, if he gets that way with me, all I have to do is say, “Stapler,” and he quiets down.

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