Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for November 13, 2023

respect to a man who knows “business”

His self-gratification comes first!!!

Thank You For Your Coffee Service from NotAlwaysRight:

My dad is a former Marine and raised me to always be respectful and grateful to the people who serve our country. I am twenty-three, and I have a slew of medical conditions that prevent me from serving in the military, so I am extra grateful to the people who serve.

I am at a gas station getting my morning coffee, and two girls about my age walk in wearing Army uniforms. They get their coffee and a few snacks and go to check out.

Me: Stepping over to the register “Whatever they are getting is on me.”

Army Girl #1: “Oh, ma’am, that’s okay.”

Army Girl #2: “Yeah, you don’t need to do that.”

Me: “Ladies, if I tried to apply to the military, I would get laughed out of the admissions office as soon as they saw my medical records. I can’t serve, so the least I can do is buy your coffee.”

They relent, thank me, take their things, and leave. I put my coffee on the counter to add to the total.

Cashier: “And your coffee is on me. No debate.”

I relent and pay for the total.

Cashier: “See you tomorrow!”

Adam really should find another line of work and leave the creative writing to the one with the talent for it—namely, his wife Laura.

I believe he could be successful as a TV spokesman for Andre’s coffee—sort of on the line of Mr. Whipple or The Man who Makes the (Dunkin’) Donuts.

I wonder what his dopey special order is?

Mopey Dick,aka the White Whale.

An extra large coffee and three cinnamon rolls probably comes close to $30.

Old habits are hard to break….

yeah… I eat when I’m depressed… which increases my weight… which increases my depression… which increases my eating… which…

Probably should get a real job.

Wasn’t Mopey the 8th dwarf?

In some jurisdictions public mopery is illegal – donuts or no donuts. In some really tough jurisdictions, loitering with intent to commit mopery is a misdemeanor. (True)

What do you expect? Adam’s a giant man-baby whose wife has to do everything for him, and is an infinitely better and more successful writer without even trying. I’m telling you, just get the crib, diapers, and baby bottle now, Adam. Maybe one day he’ll actually be shown to have some redeeming quality in the strip.

He will be extra puffy if he keeps that up.