Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for July 28, 2010

Give to yourself in fantasy what you can not

give to yourself in reality. That’s how we old

men survive.

If it were real wouldn’t he be somewhere other than in a low class pub?

That was pretty quick there Andy.

God must have loved a smart-alec because he made so many on them!

Hey, Whatcha doing with my girl?

This fellow sure gets around!

He seems to show up at every bar. He has the most incredible experiences that anyone has ever heard.

Ask him to show you his military medals and ribbons Andy.

The next words out of his month might go something like this… I’m so not drunk as think you I am!

She must be imaginary…Take a goog look at him. Nice haircut…

Reminds me of “Notting Hill”. He doesn’t look much like Hugh Grant, though.

Even money that she is either: 1) In rehab. 2) In jail. 3) In a messy divorce with one of her exs.

Her name is “George.” My friend when I was growing up. I never understood why my mother and father could never see him/her.

High class “model”, “authoress” and TV sleb-personality Jordan (Katie Price) whose notoreity must now extend to the USA, was going out with an unassuming unfamous guy who drank in a small local pub in my part of Manchester. It caused him untold embarrassment when the papers got holds of it - he was keeping it quiet and not blurting it out to all and sundry.

So it does happen!

The man wears a PLAID hat?!

Plus,

Men In Black lyrics:

Here come the Men in Black (Uh it’s the M.I.B.’s) (Uh here come the M.I.B.’s) Here come the Men in Black (Men in Black) They won’t let you remember

Nah, nah, nah, The good guys dress in black, remember that, Just in case we ever face to face and make contact. The title held by me… M.I.B. Means what you think you saw, you did not see. So don’t blink, Think what was there but now’s gone. Black suit with the black Ray Ban’s on. Walk in shadow, move in silence, Guard against extra-terrestrial violence. But yo we ain’t on no government list. We straight don’t exist, No names and no fingerprints. Saw something strange, Watch your back. Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B.’s is at, Uh and…

Here come the Men in Black. (Men in Black) The galaxy defenders. (uh oh, uh oh) Here come the Men in Black. (Men in Black) They won’t let you remember. (won’t remember) (uh uh, uh uh)

Now from the deepest of the darkest of night, On the horizon, bright light in the site tight, Cameras zoom, only impending doom. But then like BOOM black suits fill the room up. With the quickness talk with the witnesses, Hypnotizer, neuralizer. Vivid memories turn to fantasies. Ain’t no M.I.B.’s. Can I please, Do what we say that’s the way we kick it. Ya know what I mean, I say my noisy cricket get wicked on ya. We’re your first, last and only line of defence, Against the worst scum of the universe. So don’t fear us, cheer us. If you ever get near us, don’t jeer us. We’re the fearless. M.I.B.’s freezin’ up all the flack. What’s that stand for? Men In Black. Uh, M-m-m-…

The Men in Black. (Uh uh uh) The Men in Black. (Uh uh uh, ah ah ah)

Let me see ya just bounce it with me. Just bounce with me. Just bounce it with me. C’mon, Let me see ya just slide with me. Just slide with me. Just slide with me. C’mon. Let me see ya take a walk with me. Just walk with me. Take a walk with me. C’mon, And make your neck work. Now freeze.

Here come the Men in Black. (Men in Black) The galaxy defenders. (ooh ooh) Here come the Men in Black. (Men in Black) They won’t let you remember. (uh no, no)

A-ight check it. Let me tell you this in closin’. I know we might seem imposin’, But trust me if we ever show in your section. Believe me it’s for your own protection. Cuz we see things that you need not see, And we be places that you need not be. So go with your life, Forget that Roswell crap. Show love to the black suit. Cuz that’s the Men in, That’s the Men in…

Here come the Men in Black. (Here they come) The galaxy defenders. (galaxy defenders) Here come the Men in Black. (oh, here they come) They won’t let you remember. (won’t let you remember)

Here come the Men in Black. (Oh, here they come) The galaxy defenders. (uh oh, uh oh) Here come the Men in Black. They won’t let you remember.

She’s probably out with another “prize”.