Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for August 12, 2010

Hi, everybody…

Just thought I should warn you… if you happen to be in Cleveland today…

stay off the streets!

Or at least, first take a look at the August 12th  2020 “CLEO and COMPANY” on Sherpa…

Then you’ll know what to look for, just in case Claude manages to remember and follow all the steps to getting in the car and starting it.

He may not, though…

It’s not as easy as it looks, when you’re even slightly incapacitated…

Actions we take for granted because they’re embedded in reflex and muscle memory become new challenges when that access is cut off.

It’s sadly true for anyone with a brain injury… and self-inflicted by your local drunk.

I’ve always thought car keys shouldn’t be reversible…

if you had to know which way to insert them it would cut down at least a little on drunk driving.

I used to talk to someone on the phone while he was the night manager of a gas station.

One night he handed the bathroom key to a rather drunk fellow .

We hung up, so he could call the police, to prevent him from driving away.

When they arrived, the drunk guy still hadn’t come back.

The bathroom was locked… so my friend opened it with another key.

Apparently the guy had managed to unlock the outside door….

but couldn’t figure out the sliding latch, to get out of his stall.

He didn’t crawl under the door… he sat there singing to himself…

perfectly chipper, even as the nice policemen put him in their car for a ride.

A few years later, I was taking some new medication … and had an appointment with my doctor.

She looked at me closely and asked whether it was making me “drowsy” … but she meant “goofy.”

I realised it was because of my mismatched socks.

I had a bag of maybe six pairs… same socks in different bright colors.

I liked wearing two different colors… but she never believed me.