Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for September 08, 2015

I always knew Roger was unbalanced.

He’s trying to emulate his boyhood hero, Harrison Bergeron.

When Roger went to buy a block from Joel, he should have driven the car. He will regret that decision.

Joel’s blocks are much in demand with certain Ballard men.

Bev Lets get a Dak and gossip. I see the feet are still sticking out from under the bar, Go see who it is.

That would make sense, Pharmakeus…. but it’s actually a habit of Roger’s, from way back in his Boy Scout days…

“Be Prepared.”Roger was a contractor, until he retired.With plenty to build or repair, he used to carry just the usual comb, ruler, slide rule, level, framing square, nail gun, drywall saw, duct tape, pencil, compass, WD-40, etc.Now, wanting to still feel useful, he walks around the neighborhood, well prepared for anything that might need to be leveled, shored up, or blocked off….

Yoo hoo…. Bev, Rose!

I’m right here!It’s my shift… where else would I be?

Well… I still think it could be StelBel…I mean, when did you last see her in the Tiki?Or even downtown, on Ballard Street?

She spends some time at SCHAABS, and WWOI, and at her real estate office…but mostly, waaay too much time out at that spooky castle, tampering.

Maybe she came in and got drunk, and we didn’t realise cos we don’t see her much anyway.

Rodger is blocked.

Anyway you stack it, Roger is just not plumb, Bob.

Roger has got to get new hearing aids ! She said: " Let’s take a walk around the block. " not walk the block around.!

Good morning, everyone.

Roger Marley’s getting a jump on his Eternal Torment. His partner, Fred Scrooge, better take notice…

Roger babies that cinder block way too much.But I like to hear the sound of two bricks being smashed together.

WELL… hhmmmmpppfhhh..ah kin seas now wy ah shudnt take weak ends off eny more…wen ah kumback to a mess lak this!!!!…wut happnd at teh TIKI….?an hoo wuz sleppin…SLEEPIN undr teh bar? thers a bar tab thet aint settin rite wit teh numbers…an teh onlee klue ah gots is a message on mah Aye fone thet sumwun “Butt-diled” an teh voise sez….

“Well, let me tell you that bar bill was $736.93. Susan swears she didn’t drink all that herself, but you know how she does, How much did you drink, Miss Goody Two Shoes?”

sints it wuz an unlisted number ah dont nose hoo it wuz…. ohh, an anuther klue wuz a biggo purpel pillow shaped lak a lipstik… hmmm…purpel huh….

an ah nose it wuznt mS HigglepooDER….!!!she…she wuz, uh… well… ah jus nose she wernt in town…so ah herd…

or, or skratchin sumpn…

umm….hey! Happy Labor Day, everybody!….

it’s ALMOST Labor Day, isn’t it???

I gotta get home to bed…I gotta get back to work Tuesday….Thanks…..ummmm…..thanks for the drinks, Ling! Next time it’s on me!

Hey, Sheriff……what’s Bev bellyachin’ about, anyway…..?

…with a built in pocket…

In two styles.

haY sTEL…!!!LONG TIME!!!!(ya nose, ah think she aint bin rite in teh hed laytly, ya nose?)

she knia lukin a little gray round teh gizzerd too, ifn ya no wuttah means… an an… aktin a bit dAFF… er… dafeNSIVE too…lak shes hiden sumpn, mehbe… ssshhhhhh giver nuff rope an…. well…

hAY SuSun…!!!!sari ah missed Ya’ll this weak end..!!!bizzee outta town shippin summ big lodes of Yak ribs fer teh YaktobER Fest at teh end of teh month… REMEMBER???

Hey, Sheriff!…..Good to see ya! I guess I need to check up on what’s goin’ on here more often.

So….well….Bev’s always been…..uh…..a bit high strung, you know.

But, not knowing exactly what or where the gizzard is, I’m afraid I don’t have a clue what a gray gizzard indicates…….except, well…..it doesn’t sound good.

One thing for sure: all I know is I’m not gonna be the one that’s gonna search her for her phone! Oh no….not me! She’ll be madder than a wet hen! I think your strategy might be the best.

Anyway….that last nap did me a world of good…..I feel almost back to normal! I could go for another ‘nanner dak, I think! One for the sidewalk, as it were…..

~since I’m not drivin’ t’nite…….~

Monkey!Stel!

Good to see you both…and nice to see how well you’ve … um… recovered, Stel.

Hope you have, too, Monkey… but I mean from your surgery….not from what Stel did…. you know…to herself last night.

Anyhow… listen, you guys don’t believe everything Bev says, do you?

Cos she’s trying to pretend she never touched a drop, and the it was me who ran up her enormous tab!

Monkey, you know better…. I have credit at the Tiki, and I never drink much anyway…well, except a couple extra on very special occasions.

And Oooh, I almost forgot Yaktoberfest!Can we do one at the Tiki this year too?

Shh! I am trying to sleep here! Who is under the bar? What, where am I?

Stel, That was you under the bar? I’m under a booth. Good thing they missed that.

Oh, NOW I remember. I FAINTED when I saw my credit card statement. I’ll be working for MONTHS to pay it off.SniffleAnd I don’t get paid overtime…I am salary.

Munkey, butt-dial or not, that bill is too big.

Bev… would 4:23 be all right?

My 3:11 should be just about leaving at 4:19, and I do need to sweep up and such.

But my goodness…. who would gang up on you?Do you need a nice banana dak?

Or a margarita…. I know the Fireman isn’t here, but the little monkeys have learned a lot from him.Except they don’t like kittens much.Cats and monkeys… you know…