Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen for April 08, 2024

From Not Always Right: Bow Before The Beefy Brains Of Beard Guy!

One fine day, while attempting to work, I got the call we’ve all gotten. Mom was in an absolute tizzy because her computer didn’t work. Agh.

My retired mom loved to Click All The Things, as moms do, and had gotten one of those viruses that lock your computer for “security violations” or something, with a dire warning to call “Microsoft” at the number provided.

Sadly, she actually called the number and listened to the pitch in broken English. Happily, once the guy at the other end started demanding a credit card number, she finally got suspicious and hung up (despite her mortal fear of appearing “rude”) and called me.

However, she had recently moved to a farm several miles from her remote ancestral village, at least four hours away from me, and there was no way this was something I could coach her through without tears on both sides.

Man, I would give $100 to get out of this predicament… and thus the light dawned.

Me: “Mom, on the tiny road to your remote village, there should be a little house with a sign outside saying ‘COMPUTERS’ or ‘COMPUTER REPAIRS’ or something like that. Do I guess correctly?”

Mom: “Um, yes, I’ve seen something like that…”

Me: “Good, there’s one in every village, even yours. Okay, here’s what you need to do. Take your laptop, along with the power adapter, to this house tomorrow morning. Inside that house will be a man with a large beard.”

Mom: “Wait. How do you know he has a beard?”

Me: “He will have a beard; trust me. The bushier the better. Anyway, give this man your computer, tell him exactly what happened, and ask him to fix it.”

Mom: “Oh, gosh, I’m so embarrassed…”

(Contd)