Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for September 24, 2014

Another speed related accident.

speed kills…they are safe………. just a headache .

… he never saw the sudden snail until it was way too late …

The turtle would tell it differently. He’d say it was the snail who was speeding like a race car. In fact, his last words before the accident were, “Look at that es-car-go!”

Cop’s testimony: I admit it. Tortoise and I were having a race. It wasn’t exactly hare-raising. I stopped for some donuts. He said something about “slow and steady”. Guess he didn’t follow his own advice.

That would make a great Meatloaf song.

MY LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYE’S SIR ,I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING

Speed Demons!

A turtle may be slow on its feet; but if you pick it up by the shell, the head and neck move at light speed! I discovered just how long the neck can be when I tried to move a large turtle from the road to the ditch. It would be an understatement to say it was “peed off”! It managed to pee on me before I put it down on the shoulder of the road!.Last time I help a wayward reptile…

“It all happened so fast!”

Turtle probably flipped when he tried to pass that slow slow snail in the middle of his lane……..

Dam kids ,he came outa nowhere like some a ninja turtle !

He had just Turtle waxed his shell too!