Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for July 25, 2021

Oh, hell!

I once read about the history of Muzak. Boring, like their piped-in elevator music!!

Especially if the Muzak was all Country & Western…

“Highway to Hell!”

That’s it! No more elevator rides for me….

No, the first clue was the elevator going DOWN from the lobby.

The fact that the elevator only had a down button should have been a tip off too

Not sure if he means that Muzak was playing in the elevator, or that Ernie is going to Hell for being the guy who invented Muzak.

SNL did a skit with Paul Simon.

He is an old man in an elevator. A Muzaked Simon and Garfunkel hit is annoyingly playing in the background.

The devil appears and informs him it is time to collect on their deal. Fame and fortune during life in return for eternal damnation. Humorous discussion that answers several questions of how and why things happened and then its time.

Simon asks “Where will you take me? What is my hell?” The devil laughs at him and tells him he’s already arrived. The devil vanishes leaving Simon in the elevator, alone, with his own music/Muzak playing. Forever.

The horror…the horror.

“Also, there was also that mercy, grace, and forgiveness deal (that was always open to you that) you kept passing on.”