Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 14, 2018

Hobbes should not work on a suicide hotline.

Hara-kiri is a disturbing thing to reference in a comic strip aimed at kids.

Why did dad give them to Calvin in the first place? The boy can hardly be careful with a butter knife.

Just fix them. Easy as that.

Where is Calvin going to get a tanto?

Never get important life advice from Hobbes!

Run away Calvin. And don’t forget a post-it note: “left for Timbuktu”.

Accidents happen, Cal and I’m sure Dad will realize that also.

Deny. Call it fake news. Blame mom. Frame Hobbes and publicly fire him from his position as your best friend. Trust me, it’ll work.

Accident, eh? I can imagine…

Start with the running away part.

Giving out advice may not be Hobbes forte.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard. “But, dad. I’ll be careful.”

My brother, who ended up an engineer when he adulted, disassembled a very expensive pair of binoculars quietly by himself when he was 4. I don’t think (at the time) he was able to put it back together again.

Save the Plan B (fleeing the country) for when you put the family car into the ditch. Nobody is depending on the binoculars the same way!

“Running away” to commit hara-kiri is essentially the plot of Kobayashi’s 1962 film “Harakiri.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harakiri_(1962_film)