Cathy Classics by Cathy Guisewite for October 04, 2015
October 03, 2015
October 05, 2015
Transcript:
Cathy: "A key to a happy marriage is learning to address complaints in a loving way". "If your sweetheart is doing something annoying, bring it up using an "I" sentence, not a "you" sentence." Instead of saying, "You're always late"...say, "I worry when you're not home on time." Instead of saying "You never listen"... say, "I feel rejected if I think I'm not being heard." Instead of saying, "You're a slob"... say, "I'm extremely sensitive to clutter." "You" sentences make it all the other person's fault.."I" sentences make us partners in responsibility. "You" creates distance... "I" invites closeness! Irving: I get overwhelemed with feelings of inadequacy when someone I love thinks I need instructions on how to talk!! Cathy: You cheat!!
As a person who minored in Psych, I get what the book is trying to say. As an Autistic person, who does need clues to converse, it’s data that I have used. As someone who is just trying to talk without feeling so much pressure I can’t (and who knows the arguments for and against “an Autistic person” and “a person with Autism”) all that advise for how to talk can build up a wall about doing it “right” that leads to silence… and so fully understands Irving and Cathy’s stances