Close to Home by John McPherson for December 06, 2016

Wrong word. The correct answer is “Reboot”

That will only fix approximately only34.7% of the problems that come into Tech Support. The rest are either ID10t users or PICNIC problems(problem in chair, not in computer).

Plug the computer in.

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

What is this “reboot” ? When I boot them, there is no need to kick ’em again.

Ooh! I like “PICNIC”. I’d always heard “PEBKAC” (Problem exists between keyboard and chair).

At work, I’ve been forced to work on an under-performing Mac for a long period of time. Things got really bad after we updated some of our Adobe applications earlier this year. My old Mac was finally replaced two months ago. Just in time too, because it was dying. It wasn’t easy getting our company’s management to decide to replace it.

On one occasion this year, some of my old Mac’s applications suddenly stopped functioning. While helping me remotely, one of company’s IT guys told me, “Heh-heh, the software running on your Mac needs at least six gigs of RAM, but your Mac has only three, heh-heh!” There was something I wanted to say, but I didn’t (I probably shouldn’t write it here either!) All I eventually said that this was a problem that was out of my control.

What’s really sad is I can’t say “Your CD Drive is not a cup holder” anymore

I only call tech support AFTER I have tried ‘unplug for one minute’ and it doesn’t solve the problem. They usually have to reset it at their source before it works. It does fix the problem. I’m a novice on the computer.

I’ve had one of those guys when my dsl modem stopped working, I rebooted it, both soft and hard…before I called. When I called, they made me do it again, both soft and hard and I could hear the guy talking to his friends and just playing around and then when that didn’t fix it he acted all confused like, that always fixes it, I’m not sure what the problem is I’ll need to escalate it. The next person he escalated it to, did the same thing but had me wait 5 minutes before plugging it back in, before finally putting in an ticket to send out a person onsite.

It took Centurylink four different guys they sent out in their trucks to track down the problem at a local box that someone has messed with and put a splice into my line for some reason. FOUR guys over a period of six weeks, cause they’d boost the signal and it would work for a few days then the system would auto remove the boost and it wouldn’t work anymore.

Worst part as every time I called I had to go through the stupid tests again, even though I’d tell them we’ve done this before it never fixed it before.

I’ve heard of FUBAR, but not PICNIC or PEBKAC.

“Duh, what’s a router?”. :-)

The Father Guido Sarducci School of Computer Technology?

I saw this funny tee shirt once: " If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works"

“… the only phrase you will need to remember.”

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Because they’ve called you via Skype.