FoxTrot by Bill Amend for January 03, 2010

Transcript:

Jason: Stupid Apple rejected my iPhone app! Peter: I didn't know you'd made one. Jason: Yeah. It's "Cootielert." It was going to be my ticket to fame and fortune. It uses the phone's microphone to analyze voices in your environment in order to gauge exposure to members of the opposite sex. It then ties in with Google Maps to give you directions to the nearest biohazard ready hospital. It even prompts you for the text you'd like on your tombstone if the cootie level goes over 2.3 Eileen Jacobsons. Paige: What are you doing with Mom's phone? phone: Warning! Proceed north to Lakeview Mercy! Jason: I mean, look how well it works! Peter: Assuming these hospitals all have psychiatrists.