Ink Pen by Phil Dunlap for March 16, 2018

Bring out your dead

DEATH: Bring out yer dead!MARVEL EDITORS: Here’s one.DEATH: Nine pence.“Dead” Human Torch: I’m not dead.DEATH: What?MARVEL EDITORS: Nothing. [hands the collector his money] There’s your nine pence.“Dead” Human Torch: I’m not dead!DEATH: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.MARVEL EDITORS: Yes he is.“Dead” Man: I’m not.DEATH: He isn’t.MARVEL EDITORS: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.“Dead” Human Torch: I’m getting better.MARVEL EDITORS: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.DEATH: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.“Dead” Human Torch: I don’t want to go on the cart.MARVEL EDITORS:’ Oh, don’t be such a baby.DEATH: I can’t take him.“Dead” Human Torch: I feel fine.MARVEL EDITORS: Oh, do me a favor.DEATH: I can’t.MARVEL EDITORS: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.DEATH: I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.MARVEL EDITORS: Well, when’s your next round?DEATH: Thursday.“Dead” Human Torch: I think I’ll go for a walk.MARVEL EDITORS: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?“Dead” Human Torch: I feel happy. I feel happy.[DEATH paces for an idea, then whacks the body with his club, solving the problem]MARVEL EDITORS: Ah, thank you very much.DEATH: Not at all. See you on Thursday.MARVEL EDITORS: Right.

Shades of the Holy Grail, I like it.

Ehh, I’m sure Johnny Storm was back from the dead feeling hale and hearty soon enough. In the comic books, no one stays dead but Uncle Ben.