Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 18, 2013
Transcript:
arrival of spring march 20 - spring came to the area today, arriving in a heavily armored limousine amid tight security. according to a park police spokesman, they had received several threats to spring's safety, most from people disgruntled by winter, who had failed to deliver on promises to snow. the nature of the threats was not disclosed. speaking to the press, spring described her goals for the new season, using only the most generalized terms, "now blooms each thing," she said, "and maids dance in a ring. cold doth not sting, the pretty birds do sing: cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-we, to-witta-woo." when pressed for specifics, spring was only slightly more forthcoming. questioned about the timing of the cherry blossoms, an annual concern here, spring replied "i sing of brooks, of blossoms, birds and bowers, of april, may, of june and july flowers." spring became irritated when asked about her vivid outfit, a flowing, low-cut gown that barely contained her fertile figure. "martha stewart was right about you people," she snapped as aides hustled her away. "watch it or i'll put 3 feet of water in your basement!"
Ida No over 11 years ago
Do not make her mother, nature, mad.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
Spring is arriving in my area (Chicagoland) with the coldest weather of this month, far below the seasonal average. She must be carrying a grudge from this debacle of a press conference in metropolitan D.C. (where, BTW, I once marched in the annual Cherry Blossom Festival parade).
Pickbrain over 11 years ago
So it is with spring—from lamb to lioness in a heartbeat.
jack fairbanks over 11 years ago
spring has sprung, thawing last falls dung. slush and ooze befriend my shoes. if i really had to choose, i’d find a ladder with one more rung.
JTG01 over 11 years ago
in like a lamb, out like a lion
Pickbrain over 11 years ago
to-witta-woo!