The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 11, 2013

Doity rotten trick!

“Gotta do whatcha gotta do, right boss?”

Mr. Gormley now has less gorm.

It must be giorno dello sciocco di aprile

Urine trouble now, Gormley.

What’s his getaway car? A Lincoln Incontinental.

Just wait until your catheter leaks……

It looks like an inside job to me.

What a Maroon!!

Take the Prune Juice…..leave the Supersoaker.

Anybody remember the old “Car 54, Where Are You?” series and the episode where robbers that had been captured by Muldoon’s father long ago finally got out of prison as old men? All the time in stir they wondered how their careful plans had gone awry.. The overall plan had been perfect! Then they found out what had gone wrong, and determined to reenact the crime and get it right! But all the physical capabilities that had given them advantages as criminals — speed, sharp eyesight, agility — were gone. .I haven’t seen that for almost 50 years, and I still remember..I’ll send this cartoon to a friend with incontinence due to prostate surgery. Think he’ll find it funny? He wears diapers and has to change them many times a day. I’ll be with him and he’ll say, “Do you realize, that this very second I’m talking to you I’m taking a pee?”.You have to laugh, else you’ll cry. Old age sucks, but you can’t let it take you down the drain.

This would be a great way to whack the Dapper Don if he were still alive; he’d die of embarrassment.

When I turned 60 the guys at my office got me a walker. They tricked it out with red and blue lights and a small siren noisemaker. But I showed them about old troopers. At the high speed driving school I set record times in the new Chargers they could not and still not even come close to. Just have to stop to pee more often.

Did he make sure to add yellow food coloring to the super soaker water?

Mr. Gormley, urine credible!

How numb must he be not to notice until now?

he deserved it with that Charlie Brown shirt on

He is gonna sing like a canary to the cops.

It’s obvious that good “OLD” Charlie Brown is still beset by Nurse Lucy, baiting him with the football..er depends. And that Marcie is an Enforcer for diaper mob boss Peppermint Patty.

I don’t know why, but immediately called to mind was the dance scene from the new version of “The Producers,” where lines with dozens of little old ladies with walkers crossed the street together..And also, the part from “Slaughter-House Five” when Billy Pilgrim sits in a doctor’s waiting room with an old man with belching and flatulence problems. The old man tells him, “I knew getting old was going to be bad — but not THIS bad.”.For my grandparents, getting old was bad. For my parents, not so much, what with the availability of modern medical treatments.

Oh I can agree. I have 32 years experience in law enforcement. It amazes me how quick these young’uns can get in trouble and wonder why.I had one rookie bragging about how the new Charger will go about 150 mph. (Yea they will with that Hemi). I looked at him. Said “Where the hell where you going you needed to get there that fast?” “Was it so serious you had to endanger your life and everyone else to get there?” He got silent. Look at me with those “Oh yeah” eyes. I said “Good you seen it. Never see it again. Get there in one piece and not hurt anyone else.” A known fact most all of the officers killed in the DPS (over 90 percent) were traffic crashes. Some others fault. Some our own. Only a few were killed by bad guys.

I’ve wanted to do something similar for a long time, to all the people who walk around in public with their butt cracks showing, girls with way too low cut pants, guys with pants hung so low you wonder how they can even walk. Just walk aroundn with a filled squirt gun and ZAP.