Drabble by Kevin Fagan for January 31, 2013

You ought to see… eh, hear… the Member Services people at my credit union (since all you can do is hear them chatting. You never actually get to see one).

It’s because they’re trying to herd you into using one of those self checkout kiosks and it isn’t happening.

I’ll leave without buying anything before doing the store’s job and paying for the privilege…

Ideal Express Lane: 5 items or less. Cash only. No chatting.

My daughter has worked at two supermarkets, and she says that they record the number of customers each cashier handles in an hour. They are reviewed weekly and ‘informed’ if they feel their line’s moving too slowly.

The trick is to be friendly while working all the time so that your conversation ends as the transaction does. You have to scan so many items per hour and take care of a certain number of people.

Also, there are some people that come through your line that you should never, ever ask, “How are you doing today?” or “How’s your day been so far?”

Hard to believe Ralph is only buying one thing.

an hourly paid cashier will only get the dollars for the hours they are on the clock. I don’t think they will be given OT to make a quota of customers.

My local Stop ‘n’ Shop has a self scanning self bagging device that you scan and bag as you shop then you can get out the check out fast without having to unload your stuff on the belt. Usually dings with special offers just for scanner users. Just have to scan coupons and the number of bags you brought from home at the checkout. They do an audit once in a while, but that never took long. This flu season it is one less person touching my packages of food. They have weigh stations in produce so you can scan that in too.

This strip reminds me of a joke by the comedian Roy Wood, Jr. “Grocery stores need a ‘shut the f$#! up’ lane”